Tuesday, April 24, 2007

49 Long Days

I have this feeling that this semester is going to be a LOOOOONNNGGG one.

I should say that ONE of the lecturers is not being very receptive to students from my programme.

I don't understand why he had to do that.

I didn't think it was completely necessary.

I somehow feel insulted.

But then again he may have his reasons.

But i didn't ask to take that class okay.

It was forced upon me.


Am i obsessed with the English languge?

Is it my fault that my parents taught me how to speak English first and not Malay as it should have been?

Why am i more fluent in English then?

So is it my fault that i am able to comfortably understand and express myself in this language?

Is it even a bad thing?

Then if he did mean to say all that, what about all our other Muslim brothers and sisters from other parts of the world that learn and come to understand the faith better in their own language?

I can't even understand religious books in Malay.


Why is it now that seeds of self-doubt seem to be sown?

Was it a mistake in the beginning to take this course at all?

I feel like im going to come down with my second panic attack of the week.

And possibly the semester.

And its not going to stop here either.