Narcissistic Me.

I had an awesome time at my photoshoot.

To the point that i was gushing about myself.



And i totally <3 myself to the maxxx =D



Fin.

Eid 2010



I've become more cynical thanks to You.

I am more pessimistic and less upbeat about my own future.

I keep questioning my decisions.

And I hate how I've made so many sacrifices for You.

Simply Thankless.

That's all I can say.

Now before the rest of you berate me for being a bitch.


I OWN THIS PLACE!


Plus, I'm only saying it as it is.

Lying and cheating while you are still with someone is ...

well to put it mildly, DISGUSTING.

Good luck to you.

Yes i am still 'sakit hati' because YOU

well,

you hurt me.

More than any other person has.

Thanks for nothing yah.


Fin.

Seething.

Still am but it is slowly coming to a simmer.

Learning to come to terms with this blow.

Liars and cheats are people that I despise most in this world.

I pray that Allah will deal with those in question justly.

And may I be granted more patience and tolerance.

So that I may weather such storms with grace.

Amiin.

Thank you Allah for great friends.

For without them, I would never have been able to weather through this storm.

*Praying for a miracle that will lift my spirits this Eid*

I am NOT looking forward to Eid.

Or balik kampung.

I havent bought my sampul, havent changed my notes, havent picked up my baju raya.

Havent this, havent that.

So many have nots.

So not interested in gg jalan raya at all.

With TF or with my green chicks.

or even with my family.

Raya 2010. You officially suck.

Ramadhan 2010, the most testing ive had so far.

Fin.

Its Been Awhile

I know its been some time.

Forgive me, I have been really preoccupied.

What with setting of exam papers, vetting, trying to complete the syllabus, and also marking exam papers.

The bane of my existence.

Marking 240 over scripts is no joke.

Especially if youre marking compositions.

-tears hair out-

Thankfully all has been completed.

Its lovely now.

I've got some time freed up and weekends are FREE of marking!!!

Last week i went cycling with the boyfriend just to blow some steam off after a hard week of work.

Boy was it good.

2 hours of cycling up and down various terrains.

This week i plan to go again with bestie Huda whom i haven't seen in months. Possibly close to a year!!!!!

And she lives nearby my sch!!!!!!!!!!!

Preposterous i know.

Cant wait to cycle =D

*and ache all over again*

haha

Counting down to the 14th with my AI girlies!

Fin.

Semester I 2010

The semester is ending soon.

The mid-year exams are coming.

I am tired.

Super hoarse.

*lost my voice on Monday*

I'm freaking out.

Worried about how my students will do in the exam.

*sigh*

1001 things to do.

But i AM looking forward to S*amirians 1st birthday bash!!!

So exciting! =D

I am glad for that little reprieve.

Hope everything goes smoothly.

...and...

i hope my boyfriend stops worrying.

InsyaAllah things will come your way soon! =D

Fin.

Twenty6


Yes, i turned 26 on the 8th.

With some fanfare and excitement.

My corny but oh so adorably sweet bf gave me the best surprise.

He came up with all this crap and nonsense about needing my help and asked me to get ready in 20mins.

So the man arrived (and of course i hear his bike before he actually calls me)

And i think,

"OMG does he REALLLY think i'm gg to fall for this surprise nonsense?"

So i arrive downstairs and he said that he got into a bike accident.

Considering that his brother got into one, I was pretty wary.

He did show me his stiff left arm.

I swear my heart dropped.

I thought he fell and fractured it.

Then he was going on and on about something on his bike that broke and he asked me to check it out.

Now of course at this point I was thinking:

"Is he for real?"

I was STILL pretty suspicious.

And lo and behold, there was a small paper bag with my present in it.

I just grinned.

I almost broke into tears.

Never had a man to do such corny and sweet stuff for me before on the eve of my bday.

Got a nice dinner bag, a bracelet and a brooch.

i LOVE the bracelet *the most of course*

*sigh*

You are the real deal.

ily.

even MORE now.



Fin.

OHMAIGAWD




I'm turning 26 in a few days time.

This year, the hyperventilating attacks have lessened.

I have no reason for it.

But it has come.

Today.

I. am. turning. twenty6. on the eighth.

There were so many things that I was hoping to do by the time i was 26.

I "thought" i was supposed to be married with one child by now.

I "thought" i'd already be in the teaching profession for two years by now.

I thought about many things i would have achieved by now.

But i always seem to forget the most important things.

I forgot to think about being grateful for all the things that i have.

Like family,

friends,

my boyfriend,

a stable career,

a roof over my head,

more than enough food to eat,

the clothes on my back,

and the bags that i can afford.


Its always one or the other.


And we have to make peace with the things we are dealt with.

Its just not time yet.
*i hope*

And i have to learn.

Keep learning

and

remembering these lessons.



Fin.

Sneaks From Our First Unofficial Photo Shoot!
-28122009-

very impromptu photo shoot. a friend was doing some shots for an advertisement so we just decided to jump in.

see the sneezer at the back? hehe

my fav shot! =D




Fin.

Can I Have A Girly Party Too?

Siaper nak join? Then i can make enquiries =)

Best kan!


Fin.

Pretty Please?


Now that I am turning twenty6 this year

*gasp!*

Can I still have a birthday party?

One small one for my close friends and family?

A Wii party?

I am really keen.

Hehe


*tak tau malu...dulu kecik2 tak nak party...skrg dah tua bangka baru kau nak buat party...chet*


I will be sister-less when my bday rolls around.

She'll be happily traipsing around in England.

*whines*

Dammit.

Not faiiiirrrrr.

Oh well, its kind of a bday present for herself.

Gd luck and have fun.

In the meantime.

Nak Wii lagi bleh?

Hehe.

I enjoyed the Wii party the other day.

Arms were aching though after that.

I went THREE rounds of Wii boxing with DK

and

I WON!

heh.

Tak sia-sia aku amek kick boxing classes dulu.

Huhu.

The S*uper M*ario game was also a heck of a laugh.

Main tak ingat org si bday boy nyer.

Had a great time.

I wanna replicate it again can?

Anyone got an empty house to loan to me for a while?


Fin.

Three65


We are turning one!

I am happy.

Truly happy.

Thank you baby for all the good times and bad.

The hard times.

The trying times.

Like when I hear things wrongly.

*ye i tau kadang2 i ni pekak sket lepas kul 12mlm, paham2 aje kalau PC dah tgh hibernate and gg to sleep eh heheh*

Or when i irritate the hell out of you like ask you the same question more than once. Sometimes three times.

Ooops.

Or when I'm late.

Thank you for putting up with me.

And being patient.

And being there for me when I complain about EVERYTHING.

*lately i have been complaining about school. whats new now?*

Thank you for putting up with my crazy moments.

*You know I know aje lah eh ;)*

You must be the most patient man after my father that I've known.

Thank you so much for a year of getting to know you

=)

Please can we go to Sentosa again *grin*

Sentosa April 12th 2009 was good.

This year lets make it great?

ILY.

*Tuhan je tau braper byk i syg u*

To many more anniversaries...

Ameen.


Fin.


p/s: Aku hanya mahu jadi yg halal bagi mu....

Of Medical Certificates and E-Learning Days


I spent the whole of last week getting my students to arrange their files and to get them in order.

Till today, i still get:

1) Files that are NOT in order.

2) Files with content pages not filled in DESPITE me putting it up on the whiteboard for them to copy.

3) And people who STILL owe me FILES.



all this crap caused me to get what the Doctor diagnosed as tension headaches.

Its not a migraine.

It just throbs uncontrollably in the frontal lobe area and my temples.

Then this migrates down to my neck.

So I've got sore muscles in the neck area, like when u get *salah bantal*

A crick in the neck.

Which also causes nausea.

*sigh*

This is only the tenth week into my career.

Good luck to me.


Fin.

Semalam...


I went to the hospital.

S*aiful looks strong. Really strong.

Alhamdullillah.

InsyaAllah he will be moving out of the Intensive Care Unit and into a High Dependency ward.

MasyaAllah, God is Great.

Allahuakbar!

I'm really happy.

His whole family is happy and healthy, ameen.

And while I was on the phone with DK, i realised that its been ELEVEN months.

I know eleven months is a short amount of time.

But for me its a milestone.

Don't think I've gone this long ever.

And we'll celebrate one year together this 25th March

=D

super glad and excited.

I loved you then.

And ILY now.

And i'll love you even more later.

=).

Suka!

Heeeee.....



Fin.

I am Touched.



Baby, i am really touched that you spent a good THREE hours going through my entries in this blog last night *11 plus till 2am*

-from 2004 till present-

*terharu sangat dibuatnyer*

Thank you.

And now you've made me Love you even more.

Now i'm looking forward to our First =)

And in response to your FB wall post in my profile:



ILY More



Fin.

Lusting on Monday...

I am lusting after a new bag.

*sigh*

seriously.

again?

My bf is gg to kill me.

Before my mother attempts to do it first.

Haha.

And the culprit this time is,

K*ate S*pade.



Isn't it a nice work bag?

Thinking hard.

Really trying to keep my hands in my pocket to keep me from taking them money out!


*sigh sigh*



Fin.


p/s: I'm supposed to be saving money right?

Happy =)

Seriously happy.

Because WE will move forward together.

I really hope this works out =)

Cos ILY and i'm glad that it was you and no one else.

Earlier i remember sharing with A*zimah how i worried that we hadn't fought before.

We barely squabble as it is, just irritated with one another at times but that's about it.

And i really was starting to get concerned how we hadn't had a fight.

Now i'm counting my blessings.

Cos there isn't anything to fight about.

And for good cause, cos one of our biggest obstacles together is his brother's accident.

And i'm glad i can be there for him.

I'm happy that i can stand by him and his whole family

(plus his extended family - whom i have made good friends with =D))

And i'm glad we're learning.

ILY and i hope you know that.

Fin.

Sneeze-Sneeze


I have suddenly come down with the flu.

Haiyah.

I want to go to the hospital this week!

my head is stuffy and nose is dripping.

Ugh. I cannot afford to get sick!


Fin.

Feeling so Blah.


It is already Tuesday.

The new work week begins on Wednesday.

Hurrah!

But I don't want this weekend to ever end!

On the hospital front, things aren't going too well.

Everyone is tired.

Everyone is worried.

My heart stops when I get any sms notification.

Its so painful to watch.

And i really love DK and it hurts so much to see him in so much pain.

I miss him too.

Things have not been the same.

Its almost been a month.

Your prayers will definitely help.

S*aiful, I pray for what's best for you.

And if that means that its time for you to leave all of us I will take it

in my stride, I'll pray that your family will be able to weather anything that will come their way.


Fin.

The Best and Worst News

Best:

My mom and DK's mom were from the same primary school. They were both classmates.

And they still remember each other.

*smiles*

Worst:

DK's family was dealt a really big blow last night.

*and it was his mom's bday yesterday*

I hope S*aiful pull through.

If not, it doesn't look too good.

:'(

It's so painful.

A lot of people need hugs right now.

One of them...

Myself.

Fin.

Happy Birthday!



Today marks my father's 51st! bday!

*gulp*

-When did he get so old???-

My sister and I have decided that we will both chip in and get the OSIM massage chair as a combined gift to both my parents this year.

Practical and really something that NOT just my parents will use but also the rest of the family.

2 more days to DK's mom's bday too!

Will be picking up her gift tomorrow! =D

I hope this perks her up.

God knows she needs it.


Fin.

Week 4


It is officially the end of week 4,

Next week will be the middle of TERM 1.

Thankfully I'm not down yet.

It's been a long January.

I had my first observation this week.

I thought it went good.

Could have been better.

It's learning how to be a better teacher.

That's what it's all about.

Baby steps.

Small baby steps.

In other news, DK's bro is still in the ICU.

Its heart wrenching.

To see him hooked up to so many tubes.

And then to see his older brother breaking down everytime he goes into the ward.

Its too painful.

I hurt too.

Cos i can't help.

I hate this helpless feeling.


Fin.

What a Long Week It Has Been...

Everything was normal until tuesday.

Tuesday at about 5pm to be exact.

I got a big shock.

DK's brother was involved in a very bad traffic accident.

DK was breaking down over the phone.

I couldn't be there.

I couldn't concentrate.

Let's just say the past week was a big BLUR of events.

I feel like my investiture was overshadowed by this bigger piece of news.

After the investiture on Wednesday, i rushed to the hospital to visit his DK and his family.

Everyone was in bad shape.

The mom, the dad, and his younger sister.

All distraught.

When i went into the SICU, i almost broke down and cried.

It is completely heart-wrenching to see anyone hooked up to so many tubes and lying there unconcious.

It is very hard for anyone to go inside the ICU and not feel pained.

And i'm not even related.

So i spent most of last week commuting from CGH and home/school everyday since Wednesday.

Although he may not be related to me, it still affects cos I hate seeing DK to distraught.

I kept waking up on Tuesday night waiting for a phone call/msg from him hoping to hear some good news.

The next day when i couldn't get through, i msged his mom, and alhamdullillah, by the grace of God Almighty, he pulled through the night and through his operation.

I've been hearing nothing but great progress and i hope S*aiful will continue to make great improvements in his recovery.

His heart is no longer on medication and he's back to pumping and replenishing all his lost blood.

He's also off the dialysis (cos previously his kidney failed to filter out the potassium in his body).

He has opened his eyes and tried to push out the tubes from his mouth.

(he's just as stubborn as his big bro =))

I'm glad that he's doing ok and i hope that his recovery will help to strengthen his family too!

Amiin InsyaAllah.

Fin.

Week Three

I am still trying to get used to waking up at 5.20am.

Yes, i think its a totally ABSURD time to be up.

I have to DRAG myself out of bed and get my arse into the shower.

Mondays are ESPECIALLY bad.

*super monday blues lah today*

Anyway, I think i OVERenjoyed over the weekend, thus causing my current Monday Blues symptoms.

Went bowling at NSRCC. The girls were bowling FANTASTICALLY.

I scored a strike TWICE!

S*ali got a turkey.

Lisa was bowling like wonderwoman.

Mimi was bowling better than average.

I was so ecstatic.

The girls were so ecstatic.

But going home was a chore cos it was so far.

But DK made it better in the end =)

He always makes it better

*grinz*

Yesterday i hung out with just the girls and did some shopping at I*kea.

Thankfully I had the car.

Spent quite a while at I*kea and just got silly.

And drove to S*impang B*edok for some chicken fajitas at spize.

Yummmyyyy.

By the time i got home i was too tired but i still had to do my lesson planning.

Shite.

I still need to come up with a FANTASTIC lesson for SVA (concord) and set a comprehension paper.

Working really hard.

Then by the time wednesday rolls around i'll have my convocation!

That means i have to be in school only till 10.35am!

=D

Yahoooo!

Then i'll get to meet my Wi*wiiiinnnnnn!

I miss her.

and Mr. Fuddles and Keiko and Yvette and the whole GANG!

The misfits graduate.

Hahah.

Hilarious.

Lets see what happens then.

I MISS DK.

urgh.

sorry for the randomness.

Fin.

Day 4: Mind-Boggling!


Spent 12hours in school today.

Unbelievable.

4 of my boys got caught for smoking this morning.

in UNIFORM no less.

And the punishment?



Caning lah.



Haiz.

Why they insist on smoking before coming to school in their school uniform is simply, befuddling.

But the bright side is, the rest of the class is AMAZING.

The boys especially were receptive, listened to instructions and carried out all my requests.

And i can't help but to have favourites already.

S*yah, A*marool and L*enny.

L*enny is so CUTE! Round and chubby and used to be from w*oodlands primary.

When i asked him who used to teach him and rattled a few names (one of them being my mother)...

He shuddered and said, "ooohhh that one fierce teacher."

I asked which one?

"Mdm S" (who is my mom)

I wanted to ROFL. Literally.

If only the sweet kid knew.

*Evil laughter*

Fin.

Class, today's lesson is...

6th of January marks my first day stepping into the class.

No easy task ok.

I still get nervous before I enter my class.

Anxiety washes over me, and i beads of perspiration start forming on my back and neck.

(thankfully, places that aren't visible to the students)

Today, i entered my normal technical class.

My sec. two normal tech. class.

One of them i remember from last year when I relieved his class (retainee).

Alhamdullillahx3

My class is manageable (for now).

The form teacher to that class had already warned me:

"Please arh, don't smile at them for the first three weeks of school"

HAHA.

And it works wonders.

I only have this FEARLESS boy who just wants to TALK and TALK and TALK..........

Very annoying.

I punished him for talking. Made him stand at the naughty corner.

Yes people, naughty corner's still exist in secondary school.

When i run out of corners, i put them on the naughty corridor.

Heh.

*i've made this TALKATIVE student my assistant.*

________________________________________________________

2010, is shaping up to be a challenging year for me.

I am really looking forward to facing this uphill task of educating my charges.

Here's a parting word from me the new beginning teacher (BT):

Teaching as a newbie is like going for a buffet; you go in the restaurant and start piling things on the plate and soon, you feel like you're overwhelmed.

Wise words?

Fin.

Back to School.


Like many school-going children going back to schools today, teachers also had to go back to school to facilitate.

And like the P1's, Sec 1's and J1's, it was my first day at school too.

I had been made a co-form teacher to a secondary two express class in my new school and i would be working closely with a more experienced teacher.

She just so happens to be a school mate of mine from JC and i am very fortunate to get her as my mentor!

For the first day, the normal duties would include the collection of report books and checking of uniform.

Alhamdullillah, the students are well-behaved (thus far!) and I hope that they'll learn to trust me and open up a little to me.

I start lessons proper on Wednesday, and as a teacher teaching only the lower secondary, this means that i'll only be preparing lessons for the secondary two normal technical students!
(sec ones still having orientation programs the rest of the week).

I had a really long day today.

Left the house at 6.35am, reached school at 7.05am, and left school only at 5.45pm.

Almost 12 hours in school.

Not fun.

All in the package i guess.

I have a whole slew of meetings this coming week.

Busy, busy, busy.

=D

Alhamdullillahx3

Fortunate that i have a job that pays well and gives me some satisfaction.

Its still early days but insyaAllah with some hard work and perseverance i'll be able to love the job even more.

It is no joke to be God's vicegerent.

Not an easy burden to bear.

But insyaAllah.



Fin.

The First 3 Days of the New Year.




What the hell did I do?

1st Jan, stayed home to sleep off the exhaustion, and did housework.

2nd Jan, met up with the Samirians for Changi Village dinner and ride.

Rode from CHANGI to Kranji Dam.

Then from Kranji, rode to the CCK cemetery.

Not funny lah.

The girls were pretty helpless, cos we were pillion riders only.

Sali and Bek sat it out.

Which left me, Lisa and Atiqah.

Luckily (or not) we went to only the Chinese cemetery.

And of course, on our way home i had the eeriest encounter.

My first.

But alhamdullillah nothing really that serious.

I wanna thank my DK for easing and calming my fears and sat with me for a while at the void deck.

But i have to say, the cemetery was calm and silent and actually looked pretty (in a photographer/poet) point of view.

It was melancholic at some point. Especially with the moonlight washing over the tombstones.

Somehow or rather, i was INSPIRED to write a poem on the back of DK's bike while we rode through the cemetery.

Heh.

Stupid or crazy, you judge.

Then today, the couples decided to go to the N*ational M*useum to check out the Egyptian exhibit.

Personally, i wasn't really blown away.

Mainly cos it was a small collection from the V*iennese M*useum with only about 230 odd artefacts on display.

And for someone who was a huge Egyptology buff, i guess i wasn't as impressed.

The part that really got me excited was the activities they stationed outside the gallery.
The little math quizzes, the games Egyptians used to play and their writing systems.

They provided papers and crayons for pple to do rubbing over some raised images and some rubber stamps in hieroglyphics.

I kept it and i'm going to put it on my teacher's desk hehe.

First day of school tomorrow.

With a staff meeting at 2.45pm till 5.30pm.

I seriously believe what D*ennis said:

We go to work before the sun rises and reach home when the sun sets.

Erkk.

Will post up an entry soon when i have the time!




Fin.

Happy New Year!

From me to my readers:

May 2010 bring health and happiness to all and may you strive harder to reach your goals and savour sweet success, ameen insyaAllah.

New Year Resolutions for me?

Hmm...

A little hard to say.

But i will try my best to become a good educator.

One who will inspire, persevere and get students to be motivated to learn.

*self-directed learners i loike!*

I want to be able to survive my first year as a teacher, hopefully i don't make too many mistakes along the way and God willing, learn from those mistakes that i've made.

That's on my career now, on my personal life...

Let's see...

Well, time will tell. That's all i can say.

Maybe save more money this year? Less spending?

I want to increase my savings.

And take care of my health so that i won't fall sick too easily.

And i want to learn to be more patient.

Be a better daughter, sister, niece, grand-daughter, bestfriend and girlfriend

InsyaAllah.

Hopefully become a better muslimah too with all that's been said.


May 2010 ring in peace and prosperity for all!

Love,

M*aryam


Fin.