Learning to Let Go.


One of the entries on my post on 25 Random Things on FB read:


I have increasingly been ridden with worry and high levels of anxiety of late.


Every night before i go to sleep, i end up worrying.

For a full 15-30mins.

Elizabeth Gilbert wrote in her book, Eat Pray Love, that she was one who had a monkey mind.

Meaning, she had thoughts that swung "from limb to limb". Swinging precariously and wildly without any discipline.

That's exactly what i experience just before i fall to sleep.

I can't seem to harness my thoughts and energies and tuck them aside for a good night's rest.

And when all these thoughts collate themselves, i end up feeling miserable. Like the swinging monkey, my thoughts and i fall from the heights and land in a pile of misery.

Thats when my Past crawls out from the deepest recesses of my mind to wreck havoc with my Present and my Future.

Making me feel like a worthless human being.

And sometimes when it gets really bad, i'll be drowning in a pool of tears before i drop off into a troubled slumber.

A friend said yesterday; "You've changed, quieter. You weren't like this last time."


I guess many things happened in the last 6 yrs to dramatically change my personality.

I know im just a shell now.

And im not who i used to be.

I'm just a memory of mySelf.


Fin.

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz


1. Put your music on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the memo as well as the person you got the memo from

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Happily Never After - BSB

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Merpati - Hady Mirza

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Leave out all the Rest - Linkin Park

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
For a Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic - Paramore (can i say so true???!!!)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Diva - Beyonce (Hell yeah!!!)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Hero - Mariah Carey (how nice!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
With You - Chris Brown

WHAT IS 2+2?
Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Right Now - Danity Kane

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Music Box - Mariah Carey (hmmmmm)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Usah Lepaskan -Taufik Batisah (clearly i have issues)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Without You - Christina Aguilera

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Decode - Paramore (hahahahahaha...wat im THAT difficult to read meh?)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Barenaked - Jennifer Love Hewitt (hahahahahahahahaha....whaaat!?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Hold On - Take That

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Back In The Day - Christina Aguilera

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Rehab - Rihanna (more like therapy i think)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Too Little Too Late - JoJo

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Summertime - NKOTB ( but i LOVE the summer weather!)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Break The Ice - Britney Spears

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Candyman - Christina Aguilera (heheeeee)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
One Sweet Day - Mariah Carey feat Boys II Men

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Always be My Baby - Mariah Carey (perhaps i'll be smothered)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Vision Of Love - Mariah Carey

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Ain't No Other Man - Christina Aguilera (or perhaps in this case WOman)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Wall to Wall - Chris Brown (meaning to say i hv got lots of admirers? haha)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis (so true on so many levels)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Hallelujah! - Paramore

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY, WHEN YOU MEET YOUR BOSS?
4 minutes - Madonna feat. Jusin Timberlake (hahahaha!!!!!!)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
I'm Yours - Jason Mraz (auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!)

go ahead, have a go!


This post is open to anyone! Its fun!!! Try it!


Fin.

The Common Bond Of Friendship

Until recently, I turned a deaf ear but i see that there is no end to it.

So i need to say my peace here.

I REALLLLLY hope some of the juniors read this and even if they don't i'll post something up on ASSIIUM's yahoo grp.

But i just want to post this question to the seniors in ASSIIUM now.

Why the divisive-ness?

Why is there a need to segregate yourselves among the new and the old?

Is it something novel and that you're trying to send out some message to the newer ones?

These are just some of the questions that got me pondering.

I mean, for every action there is a reaction isn't it?

So why this action to divide yourselves?

What kind of reaction were you thinking of when you decided on this course of action?

One of the main aims of ASSIIUM was to create a shelter, a home away from home, a welfare agency if you must to take care of the needs of the Singaporean students.

But recently, there has been nothing of that sort.

Meaning?

Falling attendance rates at ASSIIUM programs.

A division between the EXCO and the members.

Now, all these are possibly assumptions but when it concurs with several different individuals, i think the evidence speaks for itself.

To the EXCO:

I am NOT telling you how to RUN the show.

I am telling you like it is.

This is what OTHER seniors have been hearing.

You need to get back in control!

Where is the Ukhuwwah that my seniors have tried to set as an example?

Where is the unity?

It does not show.

AT all.

I'm sorry but that's the ugly truth.

The sole reason we hold elections for EXCO posts is because we want the members to be free to choose their leaders.

Therefore, it is the EXCO's job to SERVE the ASSIIUM community and not the other way around!!!

They are the ones that got u there.

Serve them.

Not forgetting Listening!!!

Their needs.

Even if they THINK they don't need certain things.

Tht is the job of leaders.

To be forward in thought and to pre-empt any sort of problems and so forth.

YOU as the EXCO need to gain the trust of the community.

As for the newbies, the job does not JUST lie on the EXCO.

Show some respect will you?

And do more listening for God's sake.

They are doing things for YOUR own good.

EVEN if you think you DON'T need it.

I'm sick and tired of listening to all the bullshit and crap that has been going on all this while.

I hate to say it but the golden era of ASSIIUM is LOST.

Until you STOP your pettiness, you will NEVER enjoy your stay at I*IUM

After all, aren't your undergrad years meant to be the BEST times in your life

*it at least warrants a top 5!*

So how is it that your seniors (of all different batches and educational backgrounds) are ABLE to get together and be civil, not to mention downright friendly.

And the rest of you lot are just keeping in your own cliques.

Start LIVING outside your comfort zone pple!

The working world is gg to be MORE cruel and less sheltered than this!!!

Fin.

Will the Ceasefire remain?


This article will surely astound you.



"As the Arabs see the Jews"His Majesty King Abdullah,The American MagazineNovember, 1947



Summary

This fascinating essay, written by King Hussein’s grandfather King Abdullah, appeared in the United States six months before the 1948 Arab-Israeli War. In the article, King Abdullah disputes the mistaken view that Arab opposition to Zionism (and later the state of Israel) is because of longstanding religious or ethnic hatred. He notes that Jews and Muslims enjoyed a long history of peaceful coexistence in the Middle East, and that Jews have historically suffered far more at the hands of Christian Europe. Pointing to the tragedy of the holocaust that Jews suffered during World War II, the monarch asks why America and Europe are refusing to accept more than a token handful of Jewish immigrants and refugees. It is unfair, he argues, to make Palestine, which is innocent of anti-Semitism, pay for the crimes of Europe. King Abdullah also asks how Jews can claim a historic right to Palestine, when Arabs have been the overwhelming majority there for nearly 1300 uninterrupted years? The essay ends on an ominous note, warning of dire consequences if a peaceful solution cannot be found to protect the rights of the indigenous Arabs of Palestine.



"As the Arabs see the Jews"His Majesty King Abdullah,The American MagazineNovember, 1947
I am especially delighted to address an American audience, for the tragic problem of Palestine will never be solved without American understanding, American sympathy, American support.
So many billions of words have been written about Palestine—perhaps more than on any other subject in history—that I hesitate to add to them. Yet I am compelled to do so, for I am reluctantly convinced that the world in general, and America in particular, knows almost nothing of the true case for the Arabs.

We Arabs follow, perhaps far more than you think, the press of America. We are frankly disturbed to find that for every word printed on the Arab side, a thousand are printed on the Zionist side.

There are many reasons for this. You have many millions of Jewish citizens interested in this question. They are highly vocal and wise in the ways of publicity. There are few Arab citizens in America, and we are as yet unskilled in the technique of modern propaganda.

The results have been alarming for us. In your press we see a horrible caricature and are told it is our true portrait. In all justice, we cannot let this pass by default.

Our case is quite simple: For nearly 2,000 years Palestine has been almost 100 per cent Arab. It is still preponderantly Arab today, in spite of enormous Jewish immigration. But if this immigration continues we shall soon be outnumbered—a minority in our home.

Palestine is a small and very poor country, about the size of your state of Vermont. Its Arab population is only about 1,200,000. Already we have had forced on us, against our will, some 600,000 Zionist Jews. We are threatened with many hundreds of thousands more.

Our position is so simple and natural that we are amazed it should even be questioned. It is exactly the same position you in America take in regard to the unhappy European Jews. You are sorry for them, but you do not want them in your country.

We do not want them in ours, either. Not because they are Jews, but because they are foreigners. We would not want hundreds of thousands of foreigners in our country, be they Englishmen or Norwegians or Brazilians or whatever.

Think for a moment: In the last 25 years we have had one third of our entire population forced upon us. In America that would be the equivalent of 45,000,000 complete strangers admitted to your country, over your violent protest, since 1921. How would you have reacted to that?
Because of our perfectly natural dislike of being overwhelmed in our own homeland, we are called blind nationalists and heartless anti-Semites. This charge would be ludicrous were it not so dangerous.

No people on earth have been less "anti-Semitic" than the Arabs. The persecution of the Jews has been confined almost entirely to the Christian nations of the West. Jews, themselves, will admit that never since the Great Dispersion did Jews develop so freely and reach such importance as in Spain when it was an Arab possession. With very minor exceptions, Jews have lived for many centuries in the Middle East, in complete peace and friendliness with their Arab neighbours.

Damascus, Baghdad, Beirut and other Arab centres have always contained large and prosperous Jewish colonies. Until the Zionist invasion of Palestine began, these Jews received the most generous treatment—far, far better than in Christian Europe. Now, unhappily, for the first time in history, these Jews are beginning to feel the effects of Arab resistance to the Zionist assault. Most of them are as anxious as Arabs to stop it. Most of these Jews who have found happy homes among us resent, as we do, the coming of these strangers.

I was puzzled for a long time about the odd belief which apparently persists in America that Palestine has somehow "always been a Jewish land." Recently an American I talked to cleared up this mystery. He pointed out that the only things most Americans know about Palestine are what they read in the Bible. It was a Jewish land in those days, they reason, and they assume it has always remained so.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. It is absurd to reach so far back into the mists of history to argue about who should have Palestine today, and I apologise for it. Yet the Jews do this, and I must reply to their "historic claim." I wonder if the world has ever seen a stranger sight than a group of people seriously pretending to claim a land because their ancestors lived there some 2,000 years ago!

If you suggest that I am biased, I invite you to read any sound history of the period and verify the facts.

Such fragmentary records as we have indicate that the Jews were wandering nomads from Iraq who moved to southern Turkey, came south to Palestine, stayed there a short time, and then passed to Egypt, where they remained about 400 years. About 1300 BC (according to your calendar) they left Egypt and gradually conquered most—but not all—of the inhabitants of Palestine.

It is significant that the Philistines—not the Jews—gave their name to the country: "Palestine" is merely the Greek form of "Philistia."

Only once, during the empire of David and Solomon, did the Jews ever control nearly—but not all—the land which is today Palestine. This empire lasted only 70 years, ending in 926 BC. Only 250 years later the Kingdom of Judah had shrunk to a small province around Jerusalem, barely a quarter of modern Palestine.

In 63 BC the Jews were conquered by Roman Pompey, and never again had even the vestige of independence. The Roman Emperor Hadrian finally wiped them out about 135 AD. He utterly destroyed Jerusalem, rebuilt under another name, and for hundreds of years no Jew was permitted to enter it. A handful of Jews remained in Palestine but the vast majority were killed or scattered to other countries, in the Diaspora, or the Great Dispersion. From that time Palestine ceased to be a Jewish country, in any conceivable sense.

This was 1,815 years ago, and yet the Jews solemnly pretend they still own Palestine! If such fantasy were allowed, how the map of the world would dance about!

Italians might claim England, which the Romans held so long. England might claim France, "homeland" of the conquering Normans. And the French Normans might claim Norway, where their ancestors originated. And incidentally, we Arabs might claim Spain, which we held for 700 years.

Many Mexicans might claim Spain, "homeland" of their forefathers. They might even claim Texas, which was Mexican until 100 years ago. And suppose the American Indians claimed the "homeland" of which they were the sole, native, and ancient occupants until only some 450 years ago!

I am not being facetious. All these claims are just as valid—or just as fantastic—as the Jewish "historic connection" with Palestine. Most are more valid.

In any event, the great Moslem expansion about 650 AD finally settled things. It dominated Palestine completely. From that day on, Palestine was solidly Arabic in population, language, and religion. When British armies entered the country during the last war, they found 500,000 Arabs and only 65,000 Jews.

If solid, uninterrupted Arab occupation for nearly 1,300 years does not make a country "Arab", what does?

The Jews say, and rightly, that Palestine is the home of their religion. It is likewise the birthplace of Christianity, but would any Christian nation claim it on that account? In passing, let me say that the Christian Arabs—and there are many hundreds of thousands of them in the Arab World—are in absolute agreement with all other Arabs in opposing the Zionist invasion of Palestine.

May I also point out that Jerusalem is, after Mecca and Medina, the holiest place in Islam. In fact, in the early days of our religion, Moslems prayed toward Jerusalem instead of Mecca.
The Jewish "religious claim" to Palestine is as absurd as the "historic claim." The Holy Places, sacred to three great religions, must be open to all, the monopoly of none. Let us not confuse religion and politics.

We are told that we are inhumane and heartless because do not accept with open arms the perhaps 200,000 Jews in Europe who suffered so frightfully under Nazi cruelty, and who even now—almost three years after war’s end—still languish in cold, depressing camps.
Let me underline several facts. The unimaginable persecution of the Jews was not done by the Arabs: it was done by a Christian nation in the West. The war which ruined Europe and made it almost impossible for these Jews to rehabilitate themselves was fought by the Christian nations of the West. The rich and empty portions of the earth belong, not to the Arabs, but to the Christian nations of the West.

And yet, to ease their consciences, these Christian nations of the West are asking Palestine—a poor and tiny Moslem country of the East—to accept the entire burden. "We have hurt these people terribly," cries the West to the East. "Won’t you please take care of them for us?"
We find neither logic nor justice in this. Are we therefore "cruel and heartless nationalists"?
We are a generous people: we are proud that "Arab hospitality" is a phrase famous throughout the world. We are a humane people: no one was shocked more than we by the Hitlerite terror. No one pities the present plight of the desperate European Jews more than we.

But we say that Palestine has already sheltered 600,000 refugees. We believe that is enough to expect of us—even too much. We believe it is now the turn of the rest of the world to accept some of them.

I will be entirely frank with you. There is one thing the Arab world simply cannot understand. Of all the nations of the earth, America is most insistent that something be done for these suffering Jews of Europe. This feeling does credit to the humanity for which America is famous, and to that glorious inscription on your Statue of Liberty.

And yet this same America—the richest, greatest, most powerful nation the world has ever known—refuses to accept more than a token handful of these same Jews herself!
I hope you will not think I am being bitter about this. I have tried hard to understand that mysterious paradox, and I confess I cannot. Nor can any other Arab.

Perhaps you have been informed that "the Jews in Europe want to go to no other place except Palestine."

This myth is one of the greatest propaganda triumphs of the Jewish Agency for Palestine, the organisation which promotes with fanatic zeal the emigration to Palestine. It is a subtle half-truth, thus doubly dangerous.

The astounding truth is that nobody on earth really knows where these unfortunate Jews really want to go!

You would think that in so grave a problem, the American, British, and other authorities responsible for the European Jews would have made a very careful survey, probably by vote, to find out where each Jew actually wants to go. Amazingly enough this has never been done! The Jewish Agency has prevented it.

Some time ago the American Military Governor in Germany was asked at a press conference how he was so certain that all Jews there wanted to go to Palestine. His answer was simple: "My Jewish advisors tell me so." He admitted no poll had ever been made. Preparations were indeed begun for one, but the Jewish Agency stepped in to stop it.

The truth is that the Jews in German camps are now subjected to a Zionist pressure campaign which learned much from the Nazi terror. It is dangerous for a Jew to say that he would rather go to some other country, not Palestine. Such dissenters have been severely beaten, and worse.
Not long ago, in Palestine, nearly 1,000 Austrian Jews informed the international refugee organisation that they would like to go back to Austria, and plans were made to repatriate them.
The Jewish Agency heard of this, and exerted enough political pressure to stop it. It would be bad propaganda for Zionism if Jews began leaving Palestine. The nearly 1,000 Austrian are still there, against their will.

The fact is that most of the European Jews are Western in culture and outlook, entirely urban in experience and habits. They cannot really have their hearts set on becoming pioneers in the barren, arid, cramped land which is Palestine.

One thing, however, is undoubtedly true. As matters stand now, most refugee Jews in Europe would, indeed, vote for Palestine, simply because they know no other country will have them.
If you or I were given a choice between a near-prison camp for the rest of our lives—or Palestine—we would both choose Palestine, too.

But open up any other alternative to them—give them any other choice, and see what happens!
No poll, however, will be worth anything unless the nations of the earth are willing to open their doors—just a little—to the Jews. In other words, if in such a poll a Jew says he wants to go to Sweden, Sweden must be willing to accept him. If he votes for America, you must let him come in.

Any other kind of poll would be a farce. For the desperate Jew, this is no idle testing of opinion: this is a grave matter of life or death. Unless he is absolutely sure that his vote means something, he will always vote for Palestine, so as not to risk his bird in the hand for one in the bush.

In any event, Palestine can accept no more. The 65,000 Jews in Palestine in 1918 have jumped to 600,000 today. We Arabs have increased, too, but not by immigration. The Jews were then a mere 11 per cent of our population. Today they are one third of it.

The rate of increase has been terrifying. In a few more years—unless stopped now—it will overwhelm us, and we shall be an important minority in our own home.

Surely the rest of the wide world is rich enough and generous enough to find a place for 200,000 Jews—about one third the number that tiny, poor Palestine has already sheltered. For the rest of the world, it is hardly a drop in the bucket. For us it means national suicide.

We are sometimes told that since the Jews came to Palestine, the Arab standard of living has improved. This is a most complicated question. But let us even assume, for the argument, that it is true. We would rather be a bit poorer, and masters of our own home. Is this unnatural?
The sorry story of the so-called "Balfour Declaration," which started Zionist immigration into Palestine, is too complicated to repeat here in detail. It is grounded in broken promises to the Arabs—promises made in cold print which admit no denying.

We utterly deny its validity. We utterly deny the right of Great Britain to give away Arab land for a "national home" for an entirely foreign people.

Even the League of Nations sanction does not alter this. At the time, not a single Arab state was a member of the League. We were not allowed to say a word in our own defense.

I must point out, again in friendly frankness, that America was nearly as responsible as Britain for this Balfour Declaration. President Wilson approved it before it was issued, and the American Congress adopted it word for word in a joint resolution on 30th June, 1922.

In the 1920s, Arabs were annoyed and insulted by Zionist immigration, but not alarmed by it. It was steady, but fairly small, as even the Zionist founders thought it would remain. Indeed for some years, more Jews left Palestine than entered it—in 1927 almost twice as many.

But two new factors, entirely unforeseen by Britain or the League or America or the most fervent Zionist, arose in the early thirties to raise the immigration to undreamed heights. One was the World Depression; the second the rise of Hitler.

In 1932, the year before Hitler came to power, only 9,500 Jews came to Palestine. We did not welcome them, but we were not afraid that, at that rate, our solid Arab majority would ever be in danger.

But the next year—the year of Hitler—it jumped to 30,000! In 1934 it was 42,000! In 1935 it reached 61,000!

It was no longer the orderly arrival of idealist Zionists. Rather, all Europe was pouring its frightened Jews upon us. Then, at last, we, too, became frightened. We knew that unless this enormous influx stopped, we were, as Arabs, doomed in our Palestine homeland. And we have not changed our minds.

I have the impression that many Americans believe the trouble in Palestine is very remote from them, that America had little to do with it, and that your only interest now is that of a humane bystander.

I believe that you do not realise how directly you are, as a nation, responsible in general for the whole Zionist move and specifically for the present terrorism. I call this to your attention because I am certain that if you realise your responsibility you will act fairly to admit it and assume it.

Quite aside from official American support for the "National Home" of the Balfour Declaration, the Zionist settlements in Palestine would have been almost impossible, on anything like the current scale, without American money. This was contributed by American Jewry in an idealistic effort to help their fellows.

The motive was worthy: the result were disastrous. The contributions were by private individuals, but they were almost entirely Americans, and, as a nation, only America can answer for it.

The present catastrophe may be laid almost entirely at your door. Your government, almost alone in the world, is insisting on the immediate admission of 100,000 more Jews into Palestine—to be followed by countless additional ones. This will have the most frightful consequences in bloody chaos beyond anything ever hinted at in Palestine before.

It is your press and political leadership, almost alone in the world, who press this demand. It is almost entirely American money which hires or buys the "refugee ships" that steam illegally toward Palestine: American money which pays their crews. The illegal immigration from Europe is arranged by the Jewish Agency, supported almost entirely by American funds. It is American dollars which support the terrorists, which buy the bullets and pistols that kill British soldiers—your allies—and Arab citizens—your friends.

We in the Arab world were stunned to hear that you permit open advertisements in newspapers asking for money to finance these terrorists, to arm them openly and deliberately for murder. We could not believe this could really happen in the modern world. Now we must believe it: we have seen the advertisements with our own eyes.

I point out these things because nothing less than complete frankness will be of use. The crisis is too stark for mere polite vagueness which means nothing.

I have the most complete confidence in the fair-mindedness and generosity of the American public. We Arabs ask no favours. We ask only that you know the full truth, not half of it. We ask only that when you judge the Palestine question, you put yourselves in our place.

What would your answer be if some outside agency told you that you must accept in America many millions of utter strangers in your midst—enough to dominate your country—merely because they insisted on going to America, and because their forefathers had once lived there some 2,000 years ago?

Our answer is the same.

And what would be your action if, in spite of your refusal, this outside agency began forcing them on you?

Ours will be the same.



Read to know more.


Fin.

Super-Poked.


U know that FB application s*uperpoke?

Well, my mother has discovered that app and is super-poking me.

'Nuff said.


Fin.


p.s: there's just something "weird" about having ur parent being TOO wired these days.

I'm Soooo Proud!


I'm chuffed to say that im friends with my friend Ms. Nore.

Not only is she an amazing friend, *who undoubtedly saw me through my breakup phase - it was so ugly im lucky i didn't get thrown out of her room*

But she's an amazing student as well.

As her friend, i never failed to give her a lot of encouragement especially since she devotes a LOT of time studying.

More than I did at least.

And so this blog entry is just to say:


CONGRATULATIONS!

Congratulations on your success!

For being one of the TOP 5 BENL students!!!

(she's No. 2 to be exact!)

I'm so excited and ecstatic at the same time!


So when i go KL i wait for u to open table big-big hor, ok?


Hahahaha.

Love you and may success always follow in your footsteps!


xoxo,
M*ary


Fin.

Volunteer.


Anyone who's known me for quite some time knows that im not big on volunteering UNLESS necessary.

And i unwittingly volunteered to become the peer facilitator for G*esl.

Yah Zak, i VOLUNTEERED.

Gawd i feel like an arse now for doing it.

i have to be at the venue at 9am on a SATURDAY!!!

gaaah!

No sleeping in tomorrow.

Boohoo...(and i arrived home at 9.30pm today - thanks to G*esl of course)

What is G*esl?

Its an acronym for s/ervice l/earning something like voluntary work and CIP.

I guess it was a blessing in disguise having Leadership & Management as well as being in the ASSIIUM exco.


I hope i can contribute something worthy and make FULL use of this time in this module (that i really don't have a choice in)

Wish me luck.

Thank God that Almie will be there.

Again.

Azimah, thanks hor! I owe u many-many hehe.


But honestly i've GOT to find some new friends cos -no offence Almie- u're kinda cramping my style *me being single and all* haha.


Fin.

Status: Confused.


Oh no.

Not in terms of sexuality.

I'm straight.

Through and through.

Hahaha.

I'm more confused about wat Dr. F. said.


...dan Mary di Spore, juga sedang glamour.Tak lama nak kawin kan?...


sejak biler aku nak kawen?

Does she noe something i dont?

Hahaha!

Tp baguslah, ader org sentiasa doakan.

Amiin insyaAllah Dr. F dgn berkat doa Dr.


Today was a good day.

I arrived in sch a good half and hr before it started.

Managed to excuse myself for zuhr too before class started.

Alhamdullillah i've got a nice lecturer.

Sometimes im finding it a little hard to merge my secular and religious identities.

I feel...

CONFUSED at times.

I guess its a good learning experience for me.

I miss the blue tiled roofs.

And the people under the blue tiled roofs.

And i miss my AI girlies!

And i miss Huda cos i havent seen her in the LONGEST time.

Omg im such a terrible friend.


Fin.

Scatterbrained.


Its only the 1st day of class and i've already made many blunders

I brought the WRONG textbook to class.

I got LOST looking for my classroom (when i already looked at the map to ENSURE i knew exactly where i was supposed to be!)

I turned up a little late (2-3mins late for class)

-latecoming is VERY unbecoming of a teacher-


I had only realised that i brought the wrong text to class in the train ride to school.

I brought the yellow textbook instead of the blue one required for class today.

So, not wanting to make a bad impression of myself, i had planned to go to the library to go and get myself a textbook at the photocopy shop.

Alas, they had run out of copies (oh just as well, i already had the copy - im such a goody2 i know)

So because of my detour, i ended up being late for class thanks to my excellent mapreading skills.

Haiz.

So sian lah.

And to think that i arrived in school 15mins BEFORE class started.

What a way to start the semester.

Feel like a complete idiot.

Oh well, i can acquaint myself with the 2001 EL syllabus to cheer me up (NOT!)

Resolution for tomorrow:


Be a half an hour EARLY for class!!!!!!


Fin.

Solitude.


It can be fun sometimes.

But otherwise its just painful.

Plus the reminders of IT is just everywhere.

And there's no running away from it.

And every night...

Its really hard to go to bed.

To the point that i have to force myself NOT to cry.

The pillows have uncountable amounts of tearstains.

Even then...i just have to suck it up and MOVE on.

Like Tim Gunn says:


Make It Work.


And in essence, there is nothing else BUT to make it work.

With whatever i have left.

But I'm just tired.

I'm tired of the whole cycle.

I just can't go through it all over again.

Its painful and destructive and i don't have any idea whether i can pick myself up again the next time.


Fin.

Bye-Bye.


No.

I'm not bidding adieu to my blogging activities.

Just kissing farewell to my social life.

Or like Nora says: (which really is more exciting and sexy haha!)


No more making love to my social life.


This has only been DAY 3 of orientation week and we already have deadlines for assignments.

Yes you read me right.

DEADLINES.

Even before the classes begin.

-some classes begin 2nd March!-

Oh and the boys there.

I can possibly safely say that there are plenty to look at.

Just to ogle at.

BUT nothing more cos most of them are attached.

-drats!-

*there goes one of the resolutions out the window*

but seriously, is there really a need for some girls to stake claim of the guy right in front of my eyes.

She took one look at me and then suddenly went all over her boyfriend.

*like what the hell!?*

i merely glanced in their direction cos i saw my HOD of English frm Y*jc in campus.

i was completely annoyed by her behaviour.

grow up lah.

why so insecure anyway?

ok enough of the griping.

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow by the way.

Cos there's a lot of running around.

Running around without my floorball stick is EXTREMELY rare these days.

No.

I should rephrase that.

It is COMPLETELY EXTINCT!


So what else happened today besides that rude and unwelcome act i saw at the canteen today.

My English exemption test.

O-M-G!

It was horrifying and mortifying.

And i am the english major.

can you imagine the horrfied faces face that i encountered courtesy of the friendly volunteer on my right a.k.a Almie a.k.a. Azimah's boyfriend.

He's an engineering grad so u can imagine his horror.

Questions about noun and verb phrases and adverbial clauses came out. AND more.

And mind u its only 25 MCQ!!!

I could literally hear the sweat trickling in the lecture theatre.

Haha.

Almie lost it when i started to draw the phrase structure trees.

Hahaahaaaah.

Thats when he decided to throw in the towel and leave the lecture theatre early.

I had a tough time too.

Granted not as tough as it was for him but I still broke into a sweat.

Im not exactly a grammar freak as much as i enjoy correcting people.

So im just hoping for the best.

If not i'll have to resit for the grammar test on the 5th of March.

And the degree would have been in vain.

*bleargh*

Im not keeping my hopes up thats for sure.

Even the course coordinator mentioned that only 2% of the previous cohort were exempted.

So.

That's done and out of the way.

Now.

What the hell am i going to wear tomorrow!?


Fin.


p/s: anyone remember Ms W*ong the music teacher we had back in sec 1 and 2? She was spotted at campus today! *i had vivid flashbacks of the music lessons some 11 years ago! the horror!

And so it has begun...



I probably shouldn't mention this but i feel like being a little bit of a bimbo tonight.



I saw some cute guys today!


Operative word SAW!


No im not THAT bold ok. I am very shy.


Really.


Actually i only saw A cute guy


-not even SOME lah. just ONE haha-



Nothing else happened except that i got a private tour to RSIS at N*TU by Kak Faeza and the HSS library.


And i really must thank Kak Faeza because it was so WONDERFUL to see a familiar face at N*tu.


Did i mention that there is something rather clinical about the buildings there?


It feels rather dreary and i really miss being able to walk frm one faculty to another cos N*tu is HEYUGE!


And thats only N*tu not N*ie.


Earlier today *at freakin' 8.30am!* i was at N*tu for my briefings.


Yeahlah. I have to leave the house at 6.30am if not i'll be late!


And have i mentioned how much i DETEST travelling to school.


Morning journey on the train is not very desirable.


And i cant sleep.


Even if i get a seat on the train.



Ok i DIGRESS.


I meant to mention that as my first act as a student again, i borrowed books from the HSS library.


I HAD to cos i have an exemption test to sit for this wednesday at 10am. Must study so that i will NOT have to take some modules.


*bleargh*


so i had to look for the "introduction to language" text again to REFRESH my memory.


Hey its been wat?


5 years since i last SAW that book.


Tomorrow is a new day.


And i can't wait to get this week over with already.


i LOOOOVVVEEEE school though.


I think i might have looked so well adjusted that even someone came up to me to ask me whether school had just started.


Tomorrow will be a LOOONG day.


Gd night.



Fin.



p/s: they are SO selekeh in their dressing. u*ia was a fashion parade EVERYDAY. oh God i miss that place so much my heart ached with so much longing today!