What Are You Talking About?

Monday, January 26, 2004

Time: 12:11

Location: Gombak, Selangor IIUM Campus

Haiz...its me again...Khekhekhekh...yes amouge i am turning 20 this year. However i feel sooooo olllddd! Maybe i'm exaggerating. But anyways...here I am agin back on campus trying to regain back my ability to think after that long Chinese New Year break. Somehow or rather i don't feel as if im studying cos im almost back in Singapore every other weekend.

My weekend i'd have to say can be summarised in one word: HELLISH

Thanks to my boyfriend who almost completely did not acknowledge my existence cos he was having too much fun with his family. Okay i must admit that sometimes im a bit of a spoilt brat but hey, i have my reasons for being as such.

I grew up too fast i say. My parents had another baby 4 yrs after i was born and i wasnt coddled and pampered as much i would have like them to do as they are doing with my youngest brother right now. Being the first and eldest grandchild on both my paternal and maternal side also didnt help. All the pressures of doing well in national examinations and setting the bar for all my younger brothers and sisters and my countless cousins still gets to me till today.

Being the first in the 3rd generation of my family to go to university also puts added pressure on me. So believe me when my boyfriend said that he wasnt able to meet me that weekend, i was almost going to go hysterical.

But thank God im not that rash as i am before so i just kept my cool and you know...reasoned with myself that hey, he needs to spend time with his family too.

But sometimes its not just that u see. I can trust my boyfriend just fine. Its just that i cant trust myself cos my imgination gets out of hand sometimes. Well after what happened with my EX, im not surprised that this happened to me after all.

But anyway, the pain and the heartache of not being able to see your loved one when u are away in a foreign land (although its not that far i know) really, really gets to you. You dont just get homesick, but u get lovesick as well.

A long distance relationship takes work. Lots and lots of work. It takes patience, a lot of love, trust (and girls pls trust yourself) and do have a lot of faith. Cos without that vital ingredient of faith, the relationship will never work out.

Above all, maintain that healthy and happy attitude so u dont get so homesick or lovesick okay?

With that i bid u adieu....(fyi: we already got back to good terms after a slight verbal thrashing over the mobile phone on my way back to KL).

Tata.