With regards to the 18th of december...

Hmm, where shall i start...i had a great day...simply said...i haven't gone out like that and enjoyed myself so thoroughly...

Headed out around 1 plus and we decided to meet at Plaza Singapura...we were supposed to catch a movie there but tickets were selling fast...so we headed to the AXS station instead to purchase tickets for the movie, The Phantom of the Opera...His idea entirely...at GV Grand...since we were still early we ate lunch at LJS...

The part that i wont forget that night was that i offered to tear open a packet of chilli for him since his other hand was immobilized due to his accident...as i proceeded to squeeze the chilli out for him on his plate, his gd hand came out and squeezed out another pack of chilli on my plate...haiz...just my luck...another suave guy...dammit...

Might i add, he paid for my lunch...

After lunch we hurriedly made our way to GV Grand...read:We Were Late...so, after rushing there by cab...again he picked up the tab...we got into the theatre and endured the singing throughout the whole movie...

After the movie we went to Orchard Rd...big mistake...everyone was out doing their last minute Christmas Shopping...off we went to Borders...i was dying to get my hands on Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code... the book is absolutely divine...after making MY purchase, we started off for Al-Falah to do our evening prayers...the usual 10 min walk was hampered by the large crowds on Orchard Rd and eventually we reached the mosque after 20 mins...

Dinner was next on the agenda...at Little India...KomalaVilla's...AGAIN he picked up the tab...

We finally ended up at Arab St around 9 plus...by cab, his treat...and we decided on Ambrosia to do some serious Sheesha-ing...he picked out Green Apple flavour for himself, and some strawberry & peach concoction for me...w/o my knowledge of course...and then came this waiter with 2 big sheesha bottles...

Knowing that this kind of activity wasn't cheap, i offered to go dutch by placing some money on the table which he aptly REFUSED to take and would not think of...it almost turned into a little scuffle...so there again he picked up the tab...after some heavy-duty sheesha smoking i decided that it was time for me to leave...


Oh and did i mention that he called me almost everyday at campus frm singapore? Don't worry...this time im not such a gullible sucker...

Khalas...


...Fading into Oblivion...

Serves me right for drinking the whole can of green tea...

My week has been VERY memorable...and you know why???
(1) We saboh-ed this gurl (Nora frm Pahang) on her bdae...with ROTTEN eggs...we didnt plan on it...HONEST!
I just so happened that the guy at the shop said just take the eggs and so they did...
So after the festivities of blowing out the candles and eating the cake, she got creamed...ferst with the cake, then 30 odd rotten eggs...followed by a topping of MILO...needless to say the place stank after we creamed her...we then splashed a whole 2 buckets if water to get rid of the unbearable stench and then eventually did the clean-up...God...i wanted to puke...the smell was AWFUL!

(2) After all that, a couple of friends, we went to the night market...i got some vcd's...wow after a long time...i think they were good buys...3 for RM10...not bad wldnt u say...sheesh...advocating piracy...shame on me...Bride & Prejudice, SAW and Bridget Jones Diary: Edge of Reason...i enjoyed the Bridget Jones one the best...hehehe...farny...even Tj had fun watching it with me after the freak fest frm the movie Art of the Devil...its a thai movie...go watch it when it comes out...its really good!

(3) Finally, on my return journey today...the BUS BROKE DOWN!And at that point of time i needed to go and relieve myself so badly! Why did i have to go and drink that whole can of green tea all in one go? I had to hold back frm peeing in my pants for almost 1.5hrs! Almost decided to pee by the side of the rd....it was so bad...i cld hardly hold it anymore...thankfully God heard my prayers and sent me a bus...geez...i almost disgraced meself on the bus...luckily i didnt lose it...


So many memories in just a week...and its still not over YET...will be meetg a friend tomorrow...kinda excited...geez...like ive never met a fren before...

Will be doing lots of cool stuff tomorrow...i cant wait! Movie, sheesha, BORDERS...i cldnt have been luckier...

More tomorrow....

Federal Bowl @ Bukit Bintang Anyone???

Yesterday was a LOOOOOOONNNNGGGGG day...but it was time well spent with the Uni peeps y'day...

Let me spin my tale...


So we planned to go bowling on saturday...we never planned for it to rain...ahakz...MANY of us forgot to bring our umbrellas so it was 3-4 pple uner one umbrella... i pity the guys...they had to run under the rain and got mightitly drenched...neither was i spared...

I got enough of the huddling under the umbrella with 2 other pple that i dashed off running towards the next shelter...just as i was about to reach the shelter, this car splashed a whole load of water on me and my fren Shasha...Shasha was drenched frm top to toe...i was drenched hip down...i smelt of rain water AND my sandal strap broke...yuck...

By the time we reached Federal Bowl @ Bukit Bintang we were all drenched...and cold...and tired...and hungry...

But we bowled...no strikes or spares frm me...but i did come close...more practice...patience my dear girl,patience...

After the bowling session, we headed off to Plaza Low Yat to peform our prayers and then headed off to dinner after that...whatever u do...never go to this place called Estana Eating house (or somewhere along those lines) they rip u off! So EXPENSIVE! For a plate of rice, chicken cutlets, cucumber achar anda fried chicken cost me RM$6.50! But i pity my fren who had to shell out RM5 for a GLASS OF LYCHEE DRINK...whatever lah...%*&$(#@^%()(*^^$$$#...

After dinner we walked it off and headed to KLCC and took pretty photographs of the skyscrapers...it looks really pretty at night...cant wait till my photos develop...

By 9pm we were all tired...so we headed home and got some well deserved rest...

Meanwhile, i got a nice phonecall frm a friend...thanks for calling...hehehe...


Tonight its soccer: Chelsea VS Arsenal


Muacks...miss you all back home...will be back next week InsyaAllah


Fading into oblivion...

Mabuhay...Bonjourno...Aloha....

Sorry for being unable to blog for so long....i kinda left it all hanging like that....not fair for some of the ardent readers...especially my close friends...

How am i doing?? Fine alhamdullillah... its been a hectic week...my classes on M-W-F all start at 8am! What an ungodly hour to have class...and the ones on tues and thurs all start at 8.30am...i spend the whole day at campus and by the time i get back i only have just enough time to wash my clothes and sleep early...bluargh!

So far the classes are great...i know that im gonna have to work harder...my classes the past yr were all easy...now im actually gonna have to work hard for the grades...but im not complaining...

Hehehe...this reminds me...my shakespeare lecturer is as old as my great grandfather...im amazed he can actually conduct a lecture over a duration of 1.5 hours without doubling over...the one doing the sleeping would be ME nonetheless...he speaks so softly...and he's just so OLD! Remind me to get a pack of sweets for his class...

Classes are better this time round cos im already a senior and i've established friendships and acquaintances with my fellow coursemates so its a pleasure to know that im not alone when i go for a new class...

The readings to be done for my lit classes are never ending...needless to say since i havent even gotten a copy of my Shakespeare text which is SO expensive by my standards that it...Tomorrow will be my off day...and we're going bowling...yipee! Hoorah!


Bye! Till next time...whenever that is ....


Fading into oblivion

Yahooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Taufik has been crowned THE rightful SINGAPORE IDOL!


I can now breathe a sigh of relief! At least all those votes and the money used to pay for my bus fare frm KL to singapore wasnt wasted! Yipeeeeeee......

Ok i promise frm next week i wont cut classes...*crosses fingers*

Congrats again to Taufik Batisah....dont forget to get his album on Dec the 20th!

Date Due: 28th November 2004

There are exactly 2 more days until the expiry date...and then its back to campus...what a drag...i have so many things to do...and i still havent got packing...and i have a course to go to this weekend...which ends at 6pm on both days...

Lemme gripe...its my license to since its MY blog...No Singapore Idol finale for me...not catching up with my gal pal who's jetting off to India early next month...why is this all happening at the beginning of my semester???

I was just getting into the swing of Raya! Not fair!

I have certain commitments i've made that i'd not like to go to...but it wouldnt be nice if i don't go...but if i go i'll be so out of place...what a bummer...See its hard being me...

I'm starting to miss everyone already...dammit...can i pretend none of this is happening and not go back to campus??? I don't think so...

But on a brighter note: I passed my EXAMS! Yipeee!!!! *doing imaginary cartwheels in my mind*


Here's a note to all my friends:


Zak>> I lurve your diamond ring! Its fab! Lucky you!

Azimah>> Congrats! Hope you guys are gonna be happy...i doakan utk kebahagiaan korang...Amin

Marliana & Shereen>> Au revoir and Bon Voyage to the both of you...may you both reach your destinations safely

Huda>>I wish you all the best with him...hope the fireworks last a long time! Hehehe

Momma>> I hope you find out who the mystery person is

Kak Norah>> Thanks for all the well wishes

Su>> Thanks for cmg to my house the other day and letting me go over to your house

Kak Doink>> Thanks for inviting us over to your house the other day...i truly enjoyed the makan!


To all others that i have missed out...sorry and i wish you all the best in the cmg year...thanks for being my friend and readg my blog...Enjoy your holidays guys...(while i slave away in school)

Fading into oblivion

Taufik, Taufik, Taufik

Did i mention that TAUFIK made it to the first ever Singapore Idol finalssss! Yessssss! Wahoooooooooooo!

Jalan raya ngan ASSIUM memenatkan...tapi suatu memori yg amat menceriakan


Lookie what we have here???




All for one and one for all?


Wanna see more?

Its already the 4th day of raya and i still havent worn these pair of absolutely stunning pair of shoes...courtesy of MakLang nonetheless

1st Syawal

The first day went off without a hitch i should say...lucky for my whole family that my grandparents decided to come to singapore and spend eid with us...if not, this eid would be a dead one...

Woke up real early even after a late night...-khekhekhe...spent the night chatting after doing the cleanup-...so i did ironing, cleaned the toilet AGAIN...took my shower and finally got dressed and helped my mom in the kitchen...it felt weird you know...spending eid without my father...it felt like having an arm ripped off from your torso...i miss him real badly...last i heard they might not come back this thursday but this coming sunday instead!!! Noooooooo!!!!

Anyways...we all did the traditional salam and seeking forgiveness from our elders...i think i cried buckets...especially when i did it with my mom...luckily no one took my pic...nanti tak glam langsung...makeup pretty much got ruined -har har-...but still, it was a great day...

The food??? Well wat can i say? It was phenomenal...kenyang giler dibuatnyer...there was lontong, ketupat, rendang, sambal udang, ayam masak merah, sambal kacang, sambal goreng (Nyai Endon style) fuhyooooo...takleh angkatz...we'll be getting more of that sambal goreng this thurs and i cant wait!!! Yum-yum...

Besides my close relatives coming over, there were only 2 other grps of pple that came to my house which made the whole day quite a quiet affair...since the dad's away with his parents...we didnt get to go to my paternal grandparents house...not to mention my dad is the only one who drives and my mom didnt want to go out...so we were stuck at home the whole day...no surprise there...So i'll only be going out this thursday with the Uni peeps! Gosh i cant wait...the perks of staying in a small country! We're gonna visit quite a few pple so we hired the bus and the works...everyone's gonna be dressed to the nines! And needless to say I'm gonna be taking the digicam with me so you can all expect some really good pics!

And pls Izzy...dont drop the cam again k? Or else i'll make you crawl on yor hands and knees to retrieve it! khekhekehke...cya thursday k?


Fading into oblivion

This is one of the pics that made it...the rest were like CRAP...more to come for sure! Hhehehe...
The pic's a bit screwed cos my cuz stood up and spoiled the whole pic and there were like only 4 of us who were looking at the camera...i'll have to claim the rest of the pics frm my aunts later on...ciao!

Happy Eidul Fitr




Have a happy hari raya to those celebrating it and a happy holidays to those who arent! Muacks...Enjoy guys!

The Last Iftar Outing wif peeps frm Uni


The tired and sleepy faces of the night



The boys looking a bit stoned...



Geylang in all its splendour...too bad my eyes were shut :( Not to mention that the light behind us was glaring way too much...



The Ride Home

Aaaaccckkkk!!!!!

I think he knows! Whats worse? Him knowing or him not knowing? Definitely the former! AAAAARRRGGGHHHHH


Lemme go & crawl back into my shell again...leave me alone for a while k?


Fading into oblivion

Invisible

How would it feel if you were standing right there in front of this person yet they never noticed you? Sad right? Well maybe they noticed you but they never think twice about you...they'll just treat you like a friend...

Its so hard to put up that facade of being that brave and strong girl all the time...when you're hurting deep down and the scars that have not yet healed keep getting salt into them...its absolute torture to have to face people everyday and pretend everything is normal...its not...the way we have to deal with it as individuals differ so sometimes i might not want to talk about it to you...i wanna go someplace where i can be alone...where i can find some peace in solitude...

But you're always there...i just don't know how to break it to you...

Im just standing there and you're looking right through me...just like the others before you have done...so i go on with my daily routine...hoping that one day...just one day that i wont be that invisible girl...

This bleeding heart...it still pines...it pines for something that i can only imagine...something that keeps slipping thru my fingers...once, i felt close to getting my cake and eating it...but somewhere down the line i started being disillusioned...

I'll feel sad at times but then i'll start to rage within...it feels like the embers are still smouldering...it continues to burn until i find something to quench its thirst...

I don't want to be invisible anymore...


Fading away....

Happy Days...

I've been getting together with many friends this past Ramadhan...i now really understand the true and powerful meaning of friendships...whether through my ups and downs...u're always there...

Zak's mini-bitch fit (as she puts it) wasn't so much of a bitch fit...kehkehkeh...just a lot of hyperventilating and explaining to one BLUR sotong like me...lucky gurl...-the ring, the guy and the friend (ME of course)-...May Allah bless you always, Amin...I feel so bad for putting her on the spot the other day...khekhekhe...i on the other hand was enjoying myself...for certain reasons...-which shall not be disclosed-...Geylang was packed...then again when has it not ever been packed during this month?

I also didnt realise that i had quite a fan base khekehkeh....thanks Azura...if it wasn't for you i wouldnt...no, WE wouldnt have known...

I now have MSN nights...khekehkhe...sleepless nights due to chatting...and chatting with the same old people...who i enjoy talking to BTW...thank you to whoever created msn messenger...i love you loads...now i can have my bitching sessions online...i am gonna miss chatting when i get back to campus...wish they would just hook up the whole campus and make it wireless...yeah right...in a million years...

5 more days to Eid...i didnt even see that cmg...where did all the time go???...i still want my baju kurung...shoes...bag...scarf...i have no matching scarf...this is sooooo hard...daddy's away...i don't feel like celebrating Eid...lets just get it over with and get back to school...wat does the next semester hold in store for me? Zak stop laughing and giggling...i can practically envision you doing it...Wish me luck!


Cya

Let it be known that i am the first person to get him to smile in pics! Success! See Izzy U look photogenic when u smile!

..::Rant&Rave:Pre-Islamic Days::..

Those days were filled with plenty of idolatry and weak pple...idol worshippers of pagan Arabia...i suddenly feel like im suddenly being pulled back into those pagan times...its not the idol worshipping but its the kind of values and morals that we display inthis day and age...i truly feel like we have regressed...

Its sad to see how some people do not know how to value and appreciate this Holy month of Ramadhan...they dont even know how to revere this month...these people are flaunting & displaying their acts of rebellion agst God...are they insane? Eating and drinking -@ a coffeeshop no less!!!- Have they NO SHAME?????

Full-grown adults who don't understand the meaning of fasting...the only time where one can be cleansed of sin and there they are creating more sins...even my brother -my youngest brother at 6yrs old- is fasting...what of these men? Here i am fretting over the fact that I cant perform my fasting and these men are jolly well eating & drinking...

I don't know what kind of society im living in these days...for every 10 pple trying to save Islam, there is one black sheep that brings them all down...wat a waste of efforts...


i hope tht my father's prayers will be answered...InsyaAllah...missing daddy badly...

$%^&*^%$#@!eeeeeerrrrrrrgggghhhh)(&^%^$%#$##@#!!!

Wat is up with everyone trying to tell me: "He's a good guy...you should go for him"

I think i just had about enuff...the gd guys are:

1)taken

2)gay

3)not interested

4)or someone whom you're just platonic friends with

If memory serves me right...a lot of the guys that i like are just my friends and thats where it ends...Right there...so pls stop asking...i beg of you...no more...

The failures speak louder than the successes...

Wait...were there any successes at all??? I'll ponder that one for a while...


Cya

That should get ur tummies rumbling...


Click here for the rest of the pics

Finally weeded out the bad...

Singaporeans have finally weeded out the remaining weaklings in Singapore Idol...now that pretty boy Christopher Lee is out....let the real competition begin...

Next week...soul and RnB...my pick, Leandra and Taufik will shine in this genre but Taufik will outdo the rest...this genre i believe is his BEST bet on arriving at the final 2...

Singapore Idol keeps on bringing a lot of surprises...Sylvester keeps surprising me EVERYTIME! He is truly THE dark horse of the competition...he might JUST make it to the final 3...

I hope that i wont have to eat my words...


i need my shut eye...now...

Cya

I wanna sleep but these peepers just wont stay shut...

I have been at the pc for the past 4 nights in a row going without any normal nocturnal resting time...its official...i am: A CREATURE OF THE NIGHT...

I've been spending my nights bloghopping OR happily chatting on the msn messenger...lately its the peeps frm Uni that i've been chatting to regularly...i never knew how i could have struck up such close relationships with these people even though we're from very different backgrounds...i'm blessed...in many ways im glad that i didnt make it to NUS...i have memories here that'll take me to the grave...they are easily becoming the people that i feel like i've known since i was young...

The strangest thing is that when i entered IIUM, i felt like i knew these people from...like a past life...i know it sounds ridiculous but the faces seemed familiar...the conversations...the way i connected with them...it felt like second nature to me...

I think i'm finally settling in...im getting a hang of things...its a year since i've been in IIUM...i rate it as the best & worst year ever...the introductory chapter to this part of my life was met by so much hostility that i pretty much hated a lot of the things that were happening to me...this Ramadhan is a complete turnaround fromthe one i had last year...there were more tears last year compared to this year...

Ramadhan this year was marked by the examinations and also the forging of closer rships...i trly thank Allah S.W.T for this opportunity that i've always wanted...truly, it is HE that always listens to you in your hour of need...

I would like to re-assure my old friends that you are not forgotten but cherished even more because i realise that you are the friends that i have grown up with...you've seen me at my worst...at my best...and everything that was in between...you have moulded me into who i am today and i couldnt have done it without you...

I feel superb...no one's gonna get me down no more...no more crap...and i'll tell myself not to be so naive and gullible the next time okay???


Cya

I'm Sooo Lazy.....

This fasting month has made me evolve into an owl...sleeping for the most part of the morning and only coming out of hibernation only in the afternn...

Spending my night in front of this pc chatting away till its time to sahur...life's good...but i'm sure it could be better...

My blog looks really tired...anyone wanna volunteer to come and make my blog look brand new again? I'm sick and tired of looking at this black blog...i want some colour...maroon perhaps...with the song maroon 5 playing in the backgrd khekhekehkeh....someone HELLLPPPPP!....

I'm so lazy to even update this blog....

One for the road...courtesy of Naser's digicam 

In the merc! 

Grp photo b4 gg to Geylang... 

moi seniors...the past and the present 

cutting the cake! 

These are the pple that i always hang out with in sch! Missing Kak CT oredi! 

Well whaddya know...

I'm not surprised...neither am i shocked...i just feel suddenly serene...so glad that i wont be putting up with this silly little charade anymore...

Suddenly the ocean doesnt seem so big after all...it seems to me that its been reduced into a pond...soon enough it'll diminish into a little puddle...

Get my drift?

See Ya...

Hehehe...I Knew It!




Somewhere deep down i guess i knew! Thanks Fiera for this cute little quiz!

Yes, Im finally @ HOME!

Yahoooo! I've finally come home to the wonderful pc and the endless surfing hours! The exams are finally OVER and im glad that im back home so that i can spend time with family and friends during this wonderful and meaninful month...Ramadhan Mubarak to all concerned and i hope that u make full use of this month to carry out ur acts of worship and good deeds...

I spent a lot of time contemplating on what kind of emotional state i've been in and i am sometimes still hovering in between...I have no idea whether im coming or going, whether i belong or not BUT one thing's for sure, I still feel like im missing out on something really big...

I've been writing this constantly in my written journal...i have this strange niggling feeling that something is amiss...but i have no idea what it is...SAD isnt it? Well i have a whole six weeks to think about it...ponder some more...

This fasting month really has taken off...i've been to the mosque for terawih almost every other night except fri, sat sunday and today...i think that's a pretty good record...hopefully i'll go with Linda tomorrow insyaAllah...not forgetting Azura too...iftar was phenomenal today...i don't think i've bonded faster with any grp of people then the ones i've bonded with currently...afterwards we headed to Geylang and hung out at S11 just like the gd ol' times at OTK in gombak...it was fantastic to be with one another again after being apart...for a few days khekhekheke...cant wait till the next round...

We're online with each other again even after we've jsut met earlier khekehkehe....dah giler sorang2...

Toodles!

Yeay Yeay!!!

2 papers DOWN, 3 more to go....BLUUEEEKKK....

Official Taufik Groupie 

I say...WHO'S GOT TALENT?

Taufik Does!

Lemme Hear Ya Say?!

Taufik Does!

Taufik, Taufik All The Way!!!



You guys better vote him in next week!!! I voted for him thrice! Exercise Your Right To Vote People, dont go on wasting it on some "guys" who dont have any talent at all and cant sing for NUTS! even a monkey's uncle can do better. VOTE FOR TAUFIK!!!! 

im bored okay...bear with me...I'll be gone for a month...miss me a lot k? Muackss to all my darlz!


You are the color red. You are the most
controversial of all the colors. You are often
easily angered, but as easily as you got
excited, you come down. When angered, do you
have the tendency to be malicious? Afterwards,
do you end up begging for forgiveness? Maybe.
But you're incredibly generous, and, odd
enough, needy. You love to hate, and
sometimes, you hate to love. This color
describes you as generally edgy. When in a bad
situation, you're pessimistic, and when you're
in a good situation, you're extremely
optimistic. You're painfully tempermental, and
sometimes it hurts the ones you love. But with
an exciting and stimulating attitude, you enjoy
talking to people and being social. But aside
from your bold and outgoing attitude, you're
attention-needing and attention-getting. This
color is associated with lust and desire--and
you are both lust and desirous. You're a
protective person when it comes to the people
you love. You're incredibly sharp-witted and
powerful (not to mention intelligent!).


What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Updates

I am on hiatus people. Exam, exam exam...2 papers down and still i have 5 more to go...wish me all the best people...

I'll be back after the 23rd of October...
Toodles...

Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

You are the beautiful and compassionate Queen. You are the epitomy of what every woman should be. You are confident, bold, aggressive, smart, womanly and feminine. You know the right thing to do and do it. You command respect and earn praise. You are moral and loving. In times of trouble, you draw strength from within, and are a source of strength for others.

Choices, choices and more choices...

You know, when you were a kid your parents usually made the decisions for you...but as we grow older we tend to make our own decisions...

I remember as a kid my parents picked out what to wear, what to eat and which school to attend...even my secondary school was picked by my mom...all i had in mind was my dream school...so i put it at the top of my list and i didnt get in...but i was really glad to be in ahmad ibrahim sec...really, really glad...i made life-long friends there and they are really the people that are the backbone in my life...

So you see...parents decisions arent so bad...after all they have our best interest at heart...but to what extent do we let them make decisions for us?...even after my mom picked out my schools for me...she was kinda mad that i had entered all the schools based on her decision...i on the other hand thought she would be thrilled to see that i wanted to please her...i really didn't know at that point of time whether it was an act of obligation or not...needless to say...even picking out a junior college was based around my parents decision...not that i didn't have the same opinion about the school they had picked out...

Picking the university also involved some views by my parents...and once i didn't get into the universities of choice...THEY sprung into action...they picked out the next best uni for me...at that point i was really undecided...so i just said okay and i filled out those application forms...not once did i think i would make it to that instituition...after being accepted i was really sceptical...was i ever going to fit in?...-the thought of making friends all over again really tormented me-...was i ever going to assimilate into that kind of life?...something that my parents wanted me to be...naturally i rebelled...but that just didnt last long and it really didn't go down well for me...i hated the thought of not being able to please my parents after first announcing that i would reject the university's offer...i really put a lot of thought to it...and after much needling from both my paternal and maternal grandparents including my relatives i decided to leave home to study in KL...

So i am battling with a lot right now...i would say that my routine of travelling back and forth from KL to singapore every weekend is an act of rebellion because i didn't and never really wanted to be there...i guess that's why my mom doesn't really pull my ear about it...but where does this act of decision making stop with parents and their children?...its an age old question...something really to ponder about...im starting to wonder when my parents will stop making the decision for me...i have a feeling it will be the day i get married...only then will they let me make my own decisions...

Even if she does let loose the reins on decision making...i'm going to doubt the kind of decisions i make because my parents have always or most of the time been making the decisions for me...and they have been pretty accurate 90 percent of the time...i don't know whether my position as an eldest daughter and granddaughter (on both sides of the family mind you!) has anything to do about it but i guess it does...it puts that extra pressure on you to perform and set a gd example for your siblings and your younger cousins...i guess thats why my sister doesn't understand...i really envy the kind of freedom and im sometimes proud of her achievements...some stuff i don't get to do (and wouldn't have ever gotten a chance to do) she's already been there and done that...maybe she's young...sure, but really...when you think about it there's always pros and cons...but i would really love to be in her shoes...she's more independant than i am...and that's always something to envy...i on the other hand have dozens of pple watching me and wanting me to do well...so i really can't (and i doubt that i will) ever screw up...

So you see...its really hard to be me....


...i want people to see through my eyes...


This must be one of my more personal entries and i think it's done me a whole world of good...so please if anyone wants to leave a comment please do so...i'd love to hear your thoughts...

Toodles...

Picasa BloggerBot Convert

I have a strange habit of usually wanting to do things the hard way...but eventually i give up and take the easy route...with BloggerBot i actually get to paste the pics the way i want them to be pasted...easy peasy...even for non-techno geeks like me...

Yesterday i typed in an entry for my blog but it mysteriously went missing...wonder where in the WWW it went...-scratches head-...

Yesterday was a painful day...the seat in the bus on thursday evening was really cause to complain about...not to mention my seniors and I got seats right at the back of the bus...it was really bumpy...half the time i thought i was on a horse rather than a bus...the seat reclined alright...but what made it really painful was the fact that the foot rest wasnt able to be pulled up...-faulty or something like that-...so i was sleeping in a sort of precarious manner...i wasnt sitting and neither was i lying down...so u can imagine the pain i was in after i woke up...my hip hurts...-even as i type this-...and its kinda bruised...oh my poor body...

Not only did i have to contend with an aching hip...i had a CRICK in the neck to deal with today...ugh...dumb pillow...

Other than bruised and aching body parts...emotionally i feel kinda low...suddenly i've been thinking a lot about the future...what it could and could not hold for me...its kinda pathetic & sad...i've been feeling lonely...and i seem to be moping...i don't understand why i keep rehashing memories of the past when im actually supposed to throw myself into my books...it only takes a while...everywhere u go...just take a look...a quick 5 sec glance and suddenly its the pits...depressing aint it...

I think i know where the problem stemmed from but i don't know how to stop it...maybe its jsut PMS...but these days i cant seem to get a decent night's rest if i dont have a good cry before that...just like last night...no cry = sleeping at 2 am = crick in the neck...


...can someone please have a heart and get me some anti-depressants...


i need to live normally the next few weeks...gd diet, 8 hrs of sleep and nice sunshine and a gd workout to loosen out the tensions of the day...i need that...after FUTSAL...i promise...

My research beckons...

Toodles

Me and the other cuzzy 

Me & my cuzzy 

my next hp...yeah keep dreaming sista 

Tired, lazy...and so much more...

I've been sooooo out of it lately...i don't even have the time to blog...-not even at school or at home-...exams are around the corner and i'm still bogged down by tests...one more next week...i hope that's the end of it for now till the exams...less than a month to go...haven't got down to serious studying yet...seriously...if not for the Islamic Revealed Knowledge courses that i have to take...i'd be cruising through my course...sadly...its not gonna work out like that for me...

My father told me something that really amused me and surprised me 2 weeks ago...im not gonna tell it here of course...its too private and personal...but i just wanted to get it off my chest...I'm touched that anyone would consider me...but really...i think it's a bit too early to tell...

He's not back from france yet...Oh God...how much longer is it going to get?...Till next weekend i guess...feels like i haven't seen him for months...i really hate this long distance thingy...but some things just come with a price...and this price tag is really pricey...

Futsal tourney between the Indonesian and Singaporean students are coming in a week's time...man i can't even catch a ball for nuts and they put me as the goal keeper...are they joking or what?...i haven't even got a chance to play another position...and goalie isn't even my original position...ah well...something's gotta give...hope im not jinxed and let any balls in...me in front of my own goal mouth i think is a big disaster...-just looking back at previous examples-...not a good sign...gotta do something about it...besides that unsavoury little piece of info...the training's been really good...its a good chance for me to get to know my school mates better and release pent up emotions by sweating it all out...thinking back on it...i really miss my floorball mates...the game...the swiftness of it all and the excitement that grips the whole 20 mins...i need to join back the team...i need to find a team...will Pasirians welcome me?...i really hope so...i want to play again so badly...i'll think about it again...

Bought me new stuff today...heheh...lingerie and a new pair of trackpants that are really fab...miss shopping...wishing i had more dough and more time to shop...lunch with Huda...-at long last-...caught up with her...missed her so much...met sue and jepz...last min thingy and talked technical stuffz...mostly about my old and ailing laptop...finally got the prob solved...thanks sue...

now im tired...gotta look for some notes to the Glass Menagerie...later...

Toodles...

Sweetness...hehehehe 

Here are some images from school...

Here are some pics of me in school...i hope you all enjoy them! They were all recently taken during the 20th Convocation Festival...complete with rides like the tilt-a-whirl and a ferris wheel...

::click here for the photos::

Enjoy!

Toodles...

Finally!

I now have haloscan so whenever flooble goes down there's always this as a backup...i look forward to your comments...hope to see you guys soon!...

New look too...i've changed the add to this one cos i've been geting many complaints about pop-ups...so to prevent this i've changed the add...sorry for the inconvenience guys...

Toodles

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Sucky Week Anyone?

So i saved the worst story for almost the end of the week...what happened?...well...

So i set of for Larkin alone on Sunday night since the usual people that i go home with weren't gg back with me that night (they decided to skip their monday classes and leave on tuesday night)...so i went to the bus stop where i thought the service 856 was supposed to be...sadly...NOT...

Already late and so all alone...i kinda waited and waited at the darned bus stop...wondering why the bus hadn't arrived yet...i went to look at the pole where they have all the bus services listed ...alas...i was so mistaken...i suddenly remembered that the service 856 didn't stop there at all!!!....ACCCCCKKKK!...the bus that i took the previous week was 965 (which i kept thinkg that it was 856)...deluded and already pissed at my stupidity...i waited yet again for the feeder service to bring me to the correct bus stop...BUT...it didnt stop there...the nightmare still continued...

After getting onto 856 and gg thru the route into Senoko where there were many foreign construction workers...the bus then made its way into the woodlands heartlands...thinking that the service was a loop service to the woodlands checkpoint...i merrily continued my solitary journey until...i realised that the friggin' bus went all the way to the regional interchange...amazed at my stupidity (yet again) i finally got down at marsiling mrt stn to board the last -phew- west bound train towards kranji...my plan of not to take the bus frm kranji failed as i ended up taking the bus frm there anyway...

The bus didn't make its usual quick getaway frm the wdlds checkpoint....instead it dallied for about 10 mins which really irked my patience...already SOOOOO miserably late...i kept wishing, hoping and praying that the bus would make its move...finally...it did...

I was soooooo angry at myself...thinkning i could save a few dollars from riding on the public transportation...i ended up spending more...

Please remind me that 856 does not stop in front of the mosque in Yishun...dumbass...

After a week without seeing my roomie Tj...im kinda cranky...miss her dearly...and to top it all off...Shafiq's away in France again...for 2 weeks...i miss him badly...


Come back soon & safely...Missing you lots...


Can it get any worse???

Toodles

Merdeka Day anyone???

So its my first Merdeka Day here in Malaysia...and a few more to come in the next few years...decided to take off to my good old kampung to get some RnR and also to soothe my grandparents hearts...-according to them im wasting my time going back to Singapore every other weekend-...so here i am in the middle of the forest...-with the only internet connection around here (thank the Almighty for a savvy grandpa like mine)-...hacking away at the keyboards in the mist of the mountains...

And i thought i could get away from it all...apparently not...the local gossip here moves faster than a KTM train running through to Seremban...the small town politics and what-nots...its funny...if you look at it from a different perspective and as an outsider...

What's new in the kampung house...well my grandparents got themselves a new DVD/CD player...(dont pray pray ok...)...a new living room set...a new CAT!...its beautiful...still a mighty little playful kitten...she got scolded last night for trying to claw the speakers to the hi-fi and hid its head underneath the tv console as my grandma tried to spank her...hehehehe...it was a funny sight...pandai lak tu merajuk and buat muka sedih...dah merajuk terus duduk pat atas sofa and terlelap...wahakz...notty...i had to restrain myself from trying to call her Chincin...my first ex-bf's cat...looked exactly alike...only different sex and different in size...she's a little darling...don't know what got into my grandma to pick up that wee little thing at the market...

I'm supposed to be leaving tonight but my grandma insisted that i stay another night at her house...so its another night and a rush out of the house tomorrow morning for my 12 noon class...im supposed to be doing some research in school but thanks to the availability of the internet here i don't have any problems...

Thanks for the well wishes from some of you...im still hacking away with a newly developed cough...and my flu is still lingering...hope its not what i think it is...well...enough of my blabbering for now...more this weekend maybe...

Toodles from:
Kampung Sikai
Seri Menanti,Kuala Pilah
N. Sembilan

Until This PC Decides To Stop It's Pranks...

Unfortunately im sick again...gosh i have this flu...which is really scaring the hell out of me...read: Bird Flu...went to the doc's office on friday and guess what...i was running another fever thanks to some unknown viral infection...sux...i was fine earlier in the week...swimming like laps and laps and laps of the pool...

I failed history...can you believe it...of all the damned subjects...and of all the times...ugh...at least my ILS marks were really spectacular...hopefully a repeat A grade for the end of this semester...InsyaAllah...

I guess it was wednesday that i started feeling ill...its the damn weather down there in Gombak i tell you...

Anyways...sorry for not being able to update so often these days...the pc at home is hogged by my siblings and the pc's at sch...well the internet keeps going down...so there isnt much hope...next week is gonna be interesting...

My bro's gonna get his much anticipated x-box (after he's already gotten this swanky new hp)...new home pc for the whole family...yipee...

I feel sick...im gonna lie down now...and Abg Ard...CONGRATS ON YOUR ALBUM LAUNCH!...Love you lots and really looking forward to see you soon...haven't seen u for the longest time!!!...p/s:hope the album's gd...gonna get it! Muackz!

Toodles

Its A Gloomy Day Today

Was supposed to meet up with my honey today...BUT...his mom got admitted into hospital again...im feeling a bit down...now i wont be able to see him till the next week...i hope his Mom will get better soon...my poor baby's been under so much stress lately...

Ugh i'm feeling all soppy lately...so lethargic...so uninspired...wats wrong...even my blog posts are dull...im meeting some peeps up for dinner tonight...hope all goes well and i'll have my well needed reprieve...



I'm missing you badly sayang...



Toodles from the Mistress of Mundane....

Busy, busy, busy...that's all there is these days

So...another week of non-blogging activity...my life is becoming so sad...anyways...I'm done with most of my tests...got back my History mid-term paper...and i failed...i've never failed history so this is a big blow to my EGO...

At least the drama mid-term paper was do-able...so was ILS...now im gonna have to sit for the IRK subjects...-yuck-...not really good at it...-haiz-...well i cant have my cake and eat it too right???...

Last week went off like a blur...not much studying done but a lot of going out...last monday stayed @ home celebrating my youngest bro's 6th birthday...yes...my not-so-baby brother is now six...my mom gave him one of those toy laptops for him and guess what he said?..."Yeay! Now i have my own laptop and i can check my emails!!!"...Geez...kids these days...spent the rest of the evening watching another boring rendition of the National Day Parade...but the Singapore Idol made up for the boring-ness...

Tuesday i got to meet up with my honey...he took half the day off to spend time with moi...he was thrilled to receive my birthday present to him...the blue nike shirt fit him to a T...i was happy nonetheless to spend the day with him...

Wednesday...hmmm...what did i do???...I think i stayed home...Thursday i went out to smoke sheesha @ Mazmazza with some of my gerlfrens...-pics will be posted up after i write this entry-...brought Kak Eka with me...hope they didn't scare her...hehehehe...

Friday got off on a slow start...well not really...met up with you-know-who again...then off i went with Linda to International Plaza or something to meet up with one of my old schoolfriends, Hayati...boy...she's changed a lot...so pretty now...compared to when she was such a tom-boy then...met Linda's uncle...he made us both a business proposition...feasible...-InsyaAllah-...

Saturday...tuition again...then off i went to Causeway Point...went to Isrida...got my roomies pretty glittery rings...not forgetting one for myself...-or 2 more like it-...then off to Orchid Country Club 4 some cue ball...-look out for the pics too!-...with Linda again...hehehe...so nice to have someone who lives a couple of blocks away from me...

So the rest of Sunday i just bummed...till it was time for me to leave home again...

Toodles....

Lazy Bum...

Yeah...so sue me for not blogging so often...yes...i'm a self-professed lazy bum...what am i supposed to be doing this week?...study!...i've done everything BUT study...hehehe...just blame it on the national day weekend...the singapore idol...my younger bro's bdae party...and u-know-who...he's starting to sound a bit like Voldermort ain't it?...

So...the weekend was great...tutoring went by like a flash on saturday...im growing more and more attached to these kids as each session goes by...its gonna be hard if i ever leave them...and my youngest brother's birthday was great...lots to eat...all delicious and yummy...plenty of ice-cream to go ard...mini-pizzas, laksa, grilled chicken...ok i wont drone on cos you'll all get jealous...ehehehehee...and today i finally got to meet my honey...yeah yeah...my new honey...i've done considerably well emotionally...this is it..another shot...another chance at happiness...-don't blow it this time-...

So i read today...Neil Humprey's commentary on Singapore in his first book, Notes from an EVEN Smaller Island. It is a fresh and bold perspective on the singaporean way of life...so true are his words...our singaporean youth today are THE most pampered youth in the world cos all we do is enjoy economic growth...cmon...even the financial crisis isn't as bad as when you compare it to the youth that go through civil war and strife...enjoy your youth people and please...wake up and smell the roses once in a while...don't be so driven JUST to achieve...build and keep friendships...be more street smart...and go read NEIL HUMPREY'S book for more info!...

I have yet to complete that reading...and i still havent done ANY revision for my tests next week...-bugger-...have i written enough now???...No...guess not...have to clock in the hours i havent been blogging...

So love.. .-yeah that topic again-...is elusive to us at times...sometimes its right under our nose and we don't realise it...what do you do?...desperation reeks...the male species can smell it miles away...just live life single for a while...trust me...you'd rather be single than be attached...'cos being attached means A LOT of sacrifices...now that i have to deal with the long-distance thing...-again-...it really seems like a drag...why now? i suddenly ask the question...well...for one, i've quit not taking a chance...cos i want to live life without regrets anymore...living life with regrets is a life not worth living for...trust me...i hope i help someone with my words of wisdom here...-gives a round of hugs-...everyone needs one of those...

Remember: Boyfriends/Girlfriends come and go but your true friends always stick with you by and by...

Okay...guess that covers a lot...i've had so many things on my mind lately...my erain is a clutter...oh...and now that the Olympics is back...i've added a link...same goes for Sg Idol...and cld someone please tape the episodes of Sg Idol for me puhleez...Linda perhaps? ;) eheheheheh...

Toodles!

BEAUTIFUL ICE PRINCESS/PRINCE .You need distance
between you and your partner in your
relationship. You are very difficult to get.
You have big requirements and this one you love
must try hard to get you. But after she/he melt
your heart she/he will be the most happy person
in the world. You need someone who shows you
that you are special and it makes you feel
good to see that you are loved. She/He shall
know that you could easily get another
girl/boyfriend but you wont as long as you
love him. when she/he hurts you you will hurt
him too, but in general you dont get hurt. If
your partner cheated you ,you would react cold
and immediately (try to) forget him
~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by

Hoooollllliiiiiddddaaaayyyyyy!!!!!

So how long has it been since i've blogged?...A week?...Maybe longer... Anyway i'm glad to know that there are so many people that have been keenly reading my blog with much interest...im now back for a one week break...yipee...more time in Singapore and in time to spend National Day back home...

I had a great time at the Ummatic Week...the Sister's Cultural night was a BLAST!..i had never had so much fun before...-even though i sprained my ankle about an hour before the it was time for us to perform, and i still smiled and danced the night away-...the Singapore performance was great...although i pulled off my hood and my bandanna at the same time and i forgot the lines to the intro of the poem...but all went good...everybody misses training together and all the fun times we had...and DAMN- there were a lot of hot girls there that night!...All of us could take off our hijab and just let our hair down...literally since it was an all-girls affair...they locked out all the guys and we were all having a rocking good time...-sighs-...wish i could relive those moments all over again...

We all had to manage training time and studying for our mid-term tests...it was quite stressfull with training all night and having to wake up at an ungodly hour to go for classes...we all pulled thru...thank God for that...

Life is going back to normal for all of us now i guess...i didn't come home for a week...it explains why i have been so quiet for so long...no immediate access to the internet makes it difficult for me to blog...i'm still shaking from the excitement of the Ummatic week...

The stalls...the arabic songs and dancing and merrymaking outside the stalls...the funny looking mascot we had...it was like being transported to another place...it was travelling without even having to board the plane...

My love life is pretty much boring...nothing much to say...only that the guy i've been seeing regularly...his mom had a heart attack last night and he's been at the ICU for God knows how long...i hope his mom will be okay...wish i was there to comfort him...

I'm tired...

Next time then...

Toodles

Where Did I Go Wrong???

It's been a pent up...frustrating...tiring week...for many people...i sympathise with all of you...it will be all over by then end of next week...then all of you can relax and worry about your mid-terms...what am i talking about?...its Ummatic Week 2004 where we all unite beyond borders...simply put...most of the countries take part in displaying their cultures & putting up performances for all the other brothers and sisters of Islam...its gonna be a great week...but tiring...

Pertaining to the strange title that i've posted up...well...i've kinda been seeing someone...i keep denying that we've been going out for a while now...and please dont pry me for details...i'm not going to answer...he's been great to me...BUT somehow or rather i keep pushing it away...-why?-...you must all think i'm crazy...but  i do have my reasons...i think its that nasty breakup that i had...all the tumultuous emotions that ran through my being...damn it hurt...i think what im doing now is not trying to get hurt...understandable enough...but after yesterday...God...yesterday was unbelievable...

He was so nice to me even after i kicked up a big ruckus...we stayed silent in the car for ages...me...-knowing how big our egos were-...made the first move to break the ice...i took his hand and looked at him and said SORRY...it was so hard for me to do...but what i did probably showed him that i'm not a child...im a full fleged woman now...able to say Sorry...boy...my ego sure fell down the steps...so we kissed and made up...-not literally of course-...and all went well...he looked even more dashing yesterday with his glasses...he doesnt even need them...but boy he looked SOOOO yummy in them...looking so intellectual and HOT...-me and my twisted taste in men-...

Haiz...and the situation on my crush...well...it started to turn out very sec sch like...-some readers will understand what this means-...so i've saved myself the disappointment and told myself to just forget about it...but its not stopping me from admiring him from afar...making him jealous...-winks-...nasty me huh...what have i done?...lemme tell you...i kinda told a few people there's this really cute african-american guy in my school that he is HOT!...ps: there REALLY is this hot african-american dude in my school! No joke!...so word got round to my crush...wahakz...i know this sounds all juvenile...but hey...im just trying to get some kind of response from him...khekehkehe...notty notty me...

I'm sorry to have disappointed my readers for the past 2 weeks...i've been too busy and unfortunately Phlogger doesn't seem to work for from overseas...or maybe its just my hp no. ...anyways...i hope i'll be able to blog with some regularity next week...but keep holding you breath cos i'm gonna be busy with my own mid-terms too...so you know the deal...you guys with blogs just keep writing...and posting comments on my shout-box k?...muackz...love you all loads...

Toodles

I'm Baaaaacccckkkkk!!!

Heya peeps...i know i havent been blogging for a VERY, VERY long time...but all in good reason...lemme spin ma tale...

Well then...if you havent already known...i went down with fever...and it wasnt an any 'ol how fever...it was dengue fever...so i was out sick for a few days...leading to my lack of blog posts for the past week...lots of well wishes...and get well soon's & here i am again...on the road to recovery...to all that sent me their well wishes...lots of love to you guys...im back on track again...

So...last week i missed like tons of classes...covered by MC of course...last week was not a good week for me at all...i lost one of my txts for class and that book is blardy expensive i tell you!...I've missed class...well not all...kehkekehke...

While back in singapore this weekend...i spent most of it at home no less and with my family of course...but i did spend one day with Thub...-again-...this time with a nice surprise...Lis of course...she looks good...(if u read this Lis: yeah man we're so happy these days aren't we?)...took pics on her new camera...lovely...lots of good pics...-will soon be up-...laughed lots with Thub and Lis...could hardly stop...me in my new grey contacts...-so vain so vain-...but i must say...i look good...the three of us looked good...singlehood never looked so good...-laughs heartily-...

I am writing this in my drama class...wtf...-pay attention!-...but i have to write now...or i won't write the next time...bear with me and my train of thoughts...

Ah yes...crush update...the more i think of it...the more ridiculous it seems...due to the nature of our lives...we are never, ever, ever gonna have the smidgen of a chance of being together...we are from 2 very separate lives...2 people from different worlds and universes...so for now...i'll just look & admire the pretty sights that i have to see...

Till the next time...i cant concentrate writing this now...toodles...

-update:PrInCe ChArMiNg LoSt HiS wAy-...

 

Burnout #1 of the year

As usual...got back on thursday....this time with a nasty fever...listlessness just came and left me...irritated the hell out of me...finally told one of my seniors who my crush was...-grinning & blushing furiously-...its so hard to have a crush like this...the unattainable ones...2 different worlds apart...its never gonna happen anyway...(there's a reason that its called a crush)...

Yeah...so reached wdlds at abt. 10.45pm...got a lift from a senior to wait for Im at the pre-arranged place...made someone jealous...khekhekhekehkeh...never thought i was capable....well then...we'll see how it goes then tonight...so Im sent me back home...thank Allah for gd friends to rely on...i dont think i could have gotten home in one piece if i went back alone...

Reached home...swathed myself in sweater...socks and covered myself in my duvet...still shivering like it was 10 deg. below zero...woke up the following mrng(Friday) and convinced myself tht i was better so i cld go watch spiderman 2 wif Im since i promised him like weeks before...had dinner then chilled later in the evening in a park just talking abt life in general...haiz...how depressing...no more...moving on now...

Saturday...tuition...what's new...hmmm...had dinner @ delifrance alone...watching the people pass me by...nice alone time...didnt enjoy myself though...was hard to enjoy my food since my palate was messed up...(no thanks to the fever)...went to Shereen's to pick up the indemnity forms fo the Urban Quest adventure race...surfed the net @ her place to look up some maps of the cbd area...no luck...made my way home...

Sunday...big day...tiring...aching all over now...10 checkpoints with only 6 checkpoints that we accomplished...apparently they don't know where the cbd area was cos most of the race was held in the Plaza Singapura & Fort Canning Area...CBD my foot!...we had loads of fun...lucky we had Im on our team...we wld have been dead ducks if we didn't get him on board our crew...entertaining and bubbly...Umi calls him an irritant...wahakz...no prizes won...no worries...plenty of pics taken...will not bother to talk about the disastrous dinner at Cahaya...BAD & SLOW service today...45 min wait...-bubbling in anger-...made it back home...all achy...tired & really sleepy...im gonna sleep well on the bus back to KL tonight...cya...

Toodles...

tO tIrEd To ChAsE mY PrInCe ChArMiNg...

Crush Alert

Maybe! This guy may have a crush on you; its hard
to tell though. One minute it really seems like
he does and the next its a whole different
story. If you have a crush on him, why dont you
try talking to him and getting to know him
better if all goes well you two will form a
friendship, and who knows where things could go
from there!?! If you are already friends with
the guy you should tell him how you feel,
however before you do that you need to decide
whats more important to you, a friendship with
this guy or a relationship. Sometimes when you
take a friendship to the next level things
between you two are never the same again, but
if you have one of those friendships that
survive though anything then go for it!


Does He Like You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Ahakz...this guy is playing the merry-go-round with me...

Lunch Update

Wore pink to class today...very striking pink with a matching striking new pink scarf...Su has seen it...kehkehkeh...everybody's jaw dropped when they saw me in pink...[heard]:alahai ayu nyer kau niari...teserlah kepompuanan kau niari [end]...i think i made an impression...i guess to the right people...;)...i saw him...-sighs dreamily AGAIN-...he tried hard not to look...i think...maybe wishful thinking...i think im going crazy...i need therapy...HELP...

fyi peeps: this is a true blue certified nice guy AND he's NOT from anakmelayu.com....that's the only clue i can afford to give you...till next time...

counting the moments till i see him again...

Toodles...

Back By Popular Demand

Yes...thanks for the little reminder to update my blog Kak Doink...guess my life isn't as boring as i thought it was...

Just wanna let you guys know i have a crush...kehkehkeh...on a guy friend (cant tell you where he's from cos i know some people might be reading this & might just tell him) ...-mortified-...he's what me and my rmmate call the perfect guy...-sighs dreamily-...he's tall...dark...and handsome...and religious (for real this time Momma, no more Wakrak)...he's sweet and really nice...sometimes i think too nice for my tastes...

My best friend told me something that just dawned upon me...all my ex-boyfriends are CRAP...she told me..."You know, you should go tell this guy you like him since you guys have known each other for so long" (10 mths plus)...we've had conversations that were deep...some secrets we've told each other...haiz...

Problem is...im scared shitless...id like to get to know him better...he's funny, he's cute, he's sporty...i could go on and on...but i'd like to look for his flaws...since he's so perfect and all...right now...i don't know what i think...but i know i really like this guy...i just don't want it to be a one way thing you know...for those who known me since sec. sch. i bet you know who im talking about...yes, 'the-one-that-got-away'...just don't blab it on my tag board...

I haven't had a crush this bad since sec sch...

So...are we looking at repeat telecast???...we'll see...like one of my other friends said...go with the flow and get to know him better...who knows...something other than friendship will blossom...

So..till this weekend...

Toodles...

Weekend Mania

I had the most interesting weekend of all weekends...it started off fast and furious and it didn't lose steam all through the week...

First...thursday night...even before i could open the door to my house, Imran gave me a call...God pls gimme a break...my own problems i haven't solved and u ask me to help solve other people's problems???...anyway...after our long drawn out conversation, about 15 mins after i got off the phone with him...my sister's ex boyfriend called...and i didn't get to sleep till 3am the following morning!...

Friday started off slow with you-know-who cancelling our date for the day and postponing it to Saturday and then later in the evening my sis came home all flustered cos she said her ex-boyfriend came to school and they had a humongous argument...she let off a lot of steam and there i was just listening to other people's problems again...AND THEN at night...my best friend called me and confided in me HER boy problems...AND IT STILL DIDN'T STOP THERE!!!...Im called me yet again...so i listened...Muizz's explanation for the influx in people asking me to listen is cos i'm so approachable...any tips for reversing the process?...

On Saturday...went out with you know who...spent some time with him...then dropped me off at Tampines...a cleaning lady alerted me that my skirt had a tear...-mortified-...went to the toilet to turn the skirt around so tht it didn't look so obvious...went to THIS FASHION to get me a new skirt...(its a bit of a moss green and an army green)...went to tuition after that...now you have to listen to this...the kids came back after their break with slurpees (yes every one of them)...one laughed so hard till he puked the thing back out...at the end of the class while my colleague was trying to explain a qn to this new kid...water started to trickle down his pants and then slowly picked up speed till it almost gushed...-chuckles & chortles-...wanted to laugh but tht wld be most unapropriate...poor boy...he didn't even tell either one of us that he wanted to use the toilet...night came and went...Im called me (yes, he called me again,i have no idea what his problem is but apparently he loves to bother me)...so another late night...

This night ended longer than usual...had a chat with my crush on msn...-sighing dreamily-...we had the most interesting conversation...very deep topics...wont go into detail and bore you...don't see the light coming at the end of the tunnel anymore now...had a loooonnnnggg chat with my lady Linda NJ...hope she has a good umrah...-wishing her well-...missing her already...

Sunday...went to Majid Mydin for my first class with Ustz Farrurazi...interesting speaker...has a lot of charisma...gd orator...love his style...looking forward to go for more of his Sunday classes...went with Waa...thank God for good company...after 2 long hours of sitting in the heat and ending up with cramped legs...we headed off for lunch...S11 Haig Road...-licks lips-...Su rang...asked if we were done with class...after impromptu decision making...she decided to join us...went to Geylang and shopped...3 new scarves...green, black, and pink...-gasps-...new pins...went to Waa's...got the cardigans...baby blue & purple...love the purple...finally Shereen called and told me all about the challenge thing @ the CBD area...registration hiccups...hope we can solve them...Im called...AGAIN!!!...before i boarded the bus frm Kranji...nice chap he is...finally...left for Larkin (JB)...tired, exhausted & ready to fall asleep...

I think this is my longest entry ever...dunno whether im proud of it like Momma is...-khekehkehkehe-...till the next free time i get to update my blog...

Toodles

Go Blog!

Aaaaccckkkk its already Wednesday and i've just realised that i havent blogged since Sunday! Sheeesh...what is wrong with you Maryam...

Anyways...i never got the chance to write abt my little soiree with 2 gal pals...one of them ive known for quite some time and the other, someone i just got to know very recently due to our very similar pasts...ahakz...yup yup...one jerk in common alright.
Anyways Linda and I have many friends in common anyway and its so strange ive never seen her in my area FOR LIKE 20 YRS!!! (belum ader jodoh nak jumpa agaknyer khekehkehek)...

KL seems to be really smoggy of late...and really HOT...classes are fine. Im surviving. So far so good...still have one take home test to complete and a quiz to study for next Monday...drama...oklah...no complains (as yet!)...

I miss home so badly...had a tiff with you-know-who (and no im not going to disclose who that person is)...i hate being so far from home and missing out on all the action...

Finally on to the serious bit...i finally broke down yesterday thanks to a whole brigade of PMS soldiers raiding my whole nervous system. I cried and i cried and i cried...felt enormously better after that...wrote a bit in my writing journal and i looked back on all the past entries. I realised that whatever i wrote was bunch of BULL and that i just completely wasted myself for 10mths. It hurt a lot...yes...it really did...i still condemn that asshole to hell...he is one bastard who doesnt have a heart (is he even human at all???)...im still alive and im better off now than ever (khekhekekehkeh)...but ive hurt a lot and i want him to pay...like my Drama lecturer said: Each person has a responsibility to the society...this is my bit to society...he'll pay alright...damn straight he will...

Toodles...

Now where did my prince charming go...hmmm...

What? Its Sunday Already???

Pretty much a lazy weekend for me...although i must say it turned out pretty great so far. Met you-know-who on friday...the poor guy came back frm france tht mrng and insisted that i meet him that day at 9.30am! He surprised me with this little bear (that he got from France) that was sprayed with his HUGO BOSS perfume...khekehkehek...i lurve that bear to bits now...gonna take it back to KL wif me! after we met he went back to work and didnt sms me at all! kehekhekhe poor thing jet-lagged habis...blood-shot-eyes...he smsed me sat mrng and said he missed me...auwwww...geez i dunno where its going wif this guy...takper, jual mahal...

Met sabreena at bugis...had dinner...lots of nice food...now im hankering for singapore style chix rice...mmm yummy...Arab's abg angkat saw us having dinner together and took like a dozen doubletakes...ahakz...sure to report to him..."hey arab ur ex-gf's are having dinner together now"...muahahahahahah...i'd love to see his reaction...den sabreena and i went shopping...got myself something really nice! 2 things frm topshop -top secret- & gloss and a replacement of tweezers [finally] frm bodyshop...nice! the things i wanted to get...errrkkkkk...all never get...wasted...

Well tomorrow meeting Waa...maybe Linda NJ(who live blardy close to my block!)...another ex...muahahahahah...take that u ARSE!...mmmmmmmm...dreaming abt the strawberry frap...mouthwatering goodness...going back tonight oredi...so fast...gonna mish him...4 more days in KL till i come back on thursday evening...haiz...gonna catch up wif many pple soon i think...just ticking the days off from my fingers...

toodles...

[off in search of the best chicken rice...REX i guess???]

Rolling in The Gold

Muahaahahahaaaa....gold, does that mean i'll be RICH one day?

Which [5 Elements] are you?

Sugar & Spice With a Dash Of Naughtiness!


Naughty but nice...hmmmm...you be the judge...i know where i stand khekhekhekehkeh...


Are You Naughty or Nice?

In Singapore...Again???

Yes thats right im back...really tired...first time in a month that ive made the trip frm KL and back to Singapore again...really gonna be hard repeating the process again...i miss my Peeps!!! Azimah going to start work oredi and so is Umi...i never thought i'd see the day coming when we would all start working and pursuing our own careers and stuff. Zakky gerl...how u doing with the braces and stuff???

-STOP-

turn back the time please...i feel so old...

got back last night and took the mrt back home from woodlands and there was this guy sitting across me who happened to be sleeping...i took a closer look and upon further inspection, his shirt had like a big drool patch on the front of his shirt. he kept like falling sideways (guess he was really tired)and in between the journey frm admiralty to sembawang...his body kinda spasmed like someone in a fit and his eyes immediately flew open. My eyes were immediately transfixed on this droplet of spit on his lower lip -evil laughter- he quickly licked it and suddenly i think he realised that he was approaching sembawang mrt stn. Upon arriving at sembawang, he got off and took the train on the opposite side of the track -muahahhahahaha- poor chap...tht was indeed a memorable trip back home kkehkkhekehkehekeh...more adventures await...wait till i pen them down

toodles

Hip hip horraaayyy!

Ok, so its day 3 of Semester 1...so far so good...although i wish the History lecturer was a bit more lively...i have a feeling that I'll need to bring like tidbits into her class just to keep myself awake. Anyways, i havent turned up for like two of my classes this sem...kinda sceptical...dunno how im going to fare cos they are totally foreign subjects to me. Hopefully all will go fine.

Spent yesterday by attending my intro to history and integrated lang. skill classes and then bumped into a friend of mine, asked me whether i wanted to tag along to the Ong Thye Kim (its a supermarket by the way) area to solve her poor vision prob. (forgot to bring glasses frm singapore)and so she opted to get a pair of contact lenses. So we got to the optometrist and she tried to help my friend to get her to wear the contacts and it took a bloody hour for her to get used to the fact that she had something in her eye. She spent close to half an hour just to insert ONE contact lens into her right eye. Me and my other friend were bloody bored and hungry by then. She finally ended up NOT buying the contact lens and then we headed off for dinner.

The dinner was FANTASTIC. I had mushroom fried rice and my friends had some other stuff. I took a bite of my friend's cheese nan bread and it was like heaven melting into yor mouth. It was so superb. What was funny was, after we ordered our food with the waiter, we turned the menu to the last page and saw that there was THOSAI!!!! and we were all hankering for it. we were all so stoked that we said we'd order thosai after we finished our meals. Unfortunately, our bellies were so full we couldnt stomach another bite! ahakz...well thats thosai for another day i guess....so i'll be leaving tomorrow....YIPEEEEEEEE! So see you guys soon!
-muackz-

Toodles from KL

Waaateeerrrrr....Waaattttteeeeerrrrr!!!!

Hey ho peeps...alah terharunya aku baca Waa nyer blog! (I mean i feel soo touched after reading Waa's blog!) kehkehekhekhe. Anyways...today's another pissed off day! Lets just say since last night at abt 7 plus, due to some sort of water shortage, my hostel ended up with no waterrrrrrr.....had to like pee so badly in the middle of the night! Ugh and i was so lazy to go over to the next block (and not knowing wat could happen to me) i just went to he loo and luckily i had some wet tissues around. AAAAAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Crap-a-doodle-doo i tell you.....always must have something go wrong at the beginning of the semester....cant anything go right? Haiz...i have another problem to face which is i have to take another extra classs to fulfill my credit hours... I'm on some damnes waiting list. I realllllyyyy reallllyyy hope i can get in. This morning wanted to blog but then too many people in the library and as i write this in the Human Sciences computer lab, there are like a dozen people like reading as i write this behind me.

To Zakky and ma sec sch pals.... pls get back to me by FRIDAAAAAYYY! so that we can go for that piknik!

To aridewa: Gi update cepat lerrrrrrr! Aku masih nak tau wat telah happened!

To all the people who miss me, Lady M i miss you too lah...jgn sedih2 k? Next time kiter gi hang....sorry i tak turun gig last Saturday...i tak tau pun (anyway i turun bedok nak gi belasah satu jantan ni tapi dier tak show! phuck!), we will catch up soon! I'll be back this weekend y'all! -Muackz-
P.S: I'll try my best to blog regularly k?

Safe & Sound

To all my ardent fans (ahakz, macam maner nyer besar nyer star gitu) i miss you all, just to say that im safely back at campus and that im going through an arduous process getting my classes...Had a rough night, bumpy ride, stiff seats and restless journey overall. Finally reached campus at 7am(!) and havent slept since! For today khekehkeh i practically worked up the nerve to actually wear a baju kurung....crazy nut! Last minute decision cos i was soooo lazy to go and iron anything else. Anyways...it'll be a busy week (tomorrow & thursday especially; back to back classes frm 8.30 am to 5.00pm!!!) so insya'Allah i'll try and write...till then, au revoir!


Toodles

Nabbing the Crook

Yesterday i went thru a roller coaster of emotions...too many in fact. When all the incidents were rehashed again and again...it simply tore my heart and brain to pieces...how can such a felon and serial playboy like this exist!!! What happened yesterday might seem strange to some but i met Sabrina and Nora, 2 more victims (and counting) of Arab's adventure...who does he think he is man?! Next week we are gonna tear him to pieces and he would wish he never lived to see the day -bluargh-

After that i hung out with sabrina and we headed down to Suntec to go see Imran...God help me...i seem to be close to these people from Anakmelayu no matter wat...i've gotten friendships that i'd never imagine...and its surreal to see that friendships bloom in the uncanniest manner. Imran is so kooky....wahakz...best of luck sabrina...hehehe i think you need it *chuckles in delight*

im going back tonight and i don't want to!!!! havent packed, havent seen my close friends...i mish them sooooooo....haiz...so starting school tomorrow...new friends, definitely...more work...i guess so...till then,
toodles

What Feelings???

Lately...ive just been feeling...how do i describe it...EMPTY. I suppose its because of all the recent events that have gotten to me. Too much has happened in too little a short time frame. Now that I'm going back to KL and resume campus life for the next 2-3 months...i realise that this break really opened my eyes. Right now...i don't really know who i am anymore.
Im on the path of self discovery once more. I hope that this time it will open new doors for me and a brighter future perhaps. Most of all...i really miss the old me. I cant seem to remember who she was anymore...isnt that just disappointing?
Is it too much to ask for when u just want something so badly but u're JUST out of reach? I feel like im hovering in between 2 stages...im trying hard to reach the next level. I feel so out of myself. I don't know what to look forward to anymore. I cannot trust MY judgement anymore. Does this mean that i'll have to rely on another person...but then again can i even trust that other person? (I know im talking in circles but its just how my train of thought works, so bear with me)
One more thing that i'd like to add is the fact that I seem to have forsaken a friend and it was mentioned implicitly in her blog. Is it cos i have too many friends??? Can i possibly make time for all of them and not hurt anyone's feelings? But i do have to apologise...i might have been shallow. I might have made excuses but I AM SORRY. I hope she forgives me. She was there when i needed her and i dont think ive been there for her most of the time. So i'll say it again...Im REALLY SORRY. I dont know how i'll make it up to her but i surely will.
I've finally gotten my class schedule...I'll be busy on tuesdays and thursdays with literally back to back classes...wondering how i'll manage. HOWEVER, the silver lining in this is that i have NO classes on mondays, wednesdays and fridays...but i'd like to squeeze one more class on monday to make up for what seems to me as lack of credits to graduate FAST...an afternoon class that is so that i wont miss any monday classes if im tired from the journey back to campus the previous night whopeeeee! I'll definitely miss blogging, miss reading pples blogs and miss all my friends and family all over again (Yes i still do miss these things even though i come back weekly!)
I want to wish the 2 pple i thought were made for each other the best of luck in their individual undertakings in the future...
TO THE GUY: You could have at least waited a month or two before getting with another person....have a heart for the other party.I'm kinda disappointed too cos i kinda looked up to the both of you as "the perfect couple". guess things don't come perfect anymore these days. I'm also disappointed cos i never thought you'd stoop this low.

TO THE GERL (i just hope you read this): I feel for you...i know how it feels like to have to throw 10 mths in the trash. Your efforts were indeed immense in preserving the sanctity of tht r'ship. i know you'll move on cos u're one of the most strongest individuals ive ever known and i still look up to you.

Now then, back to my search for prince charming....

Wat Do You Do When You're Caught In The Middle?

I dunno...might be caught in something...lets just pray it isnt wat i think it is. But if it does wat the heck rite?...not that i really care....so why am i worried?...havent even met in person...or is it cos our pasts really crossed paths...just don't want you to hurt anymore gurl...honestly you scare me...I love to be loved...still yearn for it...still reeling from the shock (not mine though, but a friend's)...its sad...what has the world become?...i don't even know how the world got to this state...how some people ended up this way...i want to love again...but is it even possible?..lost faith...in judgement...but not in the Almighty (syukur Alhamdullillah)...i do know one thing though...i have to thank HIM for turning me into an even stronger individual...at least i have my family and friends...you're no one....

maryam may explode without warning

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IDLE CHAT & BLUR COCK DAYS

Making our way to town seemed like an adventure race cum comedy skit for me and my sis yesterday.

First, we made out way to Toa Payoh thinking that there was a straight bus from the interchange there to Far East Shopping Center. Sadly, I was mistaken. Then we had to go back to the MRT station to catch the train to Orchard Road. Upon boarding the train, there were 2 chinese girls in there, one very skinny and the other a bit plump. The plump chinese gerl was wearing a toga top but(ahakz) she had a piece of flesh that hung out from her armpit that really made her look undesirable. After scrutinising their attire my sis and I just took a while to shut up. But little did we know that when we shut up these girls conversation really just knocked the wind out of us.
I know that our mother's have told us repeatedly not to eavesdrop on one's conversation. But in situations like this when the train is packed you really don't have much of a choice. They're teenagers of about 17-18 yrs old, talking about RETIREMENT & DEATH! I mean wtf! Get another conversation topic man. What i overheard:

1st gerl: I'd like to retire in Singapore but eventually i'd like to retire in New Zealand
(at this point i turn ard to look at my sister whose face had gone slack after hearing what they had to say)

2nd gerl: Well, singapore is expensive i must say (blah blah blah)

1st gerl: Well i'd live to a ripe old age where i can get to see all my granchildren. im very healthy.(me & sis start to snigger)

2nd gerl: well i think i'll die first cos my parents have this history or lung cancer and high blood pressure(WATEVER!!!)

1st gerl(not wanting to be outdone she says): well we're all gonna die one day its just that we don't know when.(my sister was almost hysterical when she heard this)

Luckily for us the train had pulled into Orchard MRT stn where we just cldnt take it and started to laugh like a pack of wild hyenas! Psycho kids these days.

The other incident happened on the way home. After shopping wif ma gals, we all went off and me and ma sis and cuz boarded the train toward marina so that we'd get a chance to sit(it being the rush hour back home) upon reaching city hall on the way towards yishun, a stunning looking malay lady who is pregnant boarded the train. Long hair & beautifully made face which glowed (pregnancy really makes u radiate!) She wore a fitting brilliant blue shirt that covered her protruding belly and a long black skirt that reached her ankles. We just couldnt stop staring at her. Me and ma sis were lke commenting how pretty she was and how beautifully pregnant she looked. At this point we already approached Somerset MRT stn when my sister said wif a chuckle escaping her lips:

We shld have given her our seat!!!

We were so engrossed ogling the pretty pregnant lady that we totally forgot our manners kehkehekehkhe. Stupidity at its best.
That was definitely one of my most favourite mrt rides ever!!! Toodles!